Tag Archives: branding

It’s 2017, but I would totally wear these glorious shoes from 1974.

Not even gonna rip on this ad, because those are awesome shoes. Somebody please make these shoes again!

A most groovy Pedwin ad from a 1974 magazine.

Continue reading

Great Moments in Direct Mail

Ahhhhh… That awkward moment when the U.S. Postal Service mails you a booklet of great direct mail printing ideas and it arrives damaged.

USPS Direct Mail Piece

Overheard at American Eagle Outfitters HQ

“Intern Jenkins!”

“Yessir!”

“Black out our logos in the shoes we sold to TJ Maxx!”

“Yessir!”

“No one must ever know!”

“Yessir!”

“Protect our brand!”

“Yessir!”

aeshoe

Danimals — The Tenth Circle of Advertising Hell

Actual transcript from a Danimals commercial:

Girl: “What’s with the cool music?”
Boy: “We’ve been squeezefaced!”
Girl: “Squeezefaced?”
Boy: “From the deliciousness of Danimals Squeezables! Wanna get your squeeze on?”
Girl: “Bring it on!”
Boy: “Whoa! Cool!”
Girl: “It’s so good!”
Boy: “This is awesome!”
Boy: “Double squeezeface!
Girl: “Look!”
Boy: “Whoa!”
Girl: “Wanna try one?”
Principal: “Wow!”
Boy and Girl: “School rocks!”
Girl: “New Danimals Squeezables!”
Boy: “Squeeze more fun into lunch!”

When I’m feeling sad, I simply remember that I don’t work on the Dannon Danimals account and then I don’t feel so bad.

Heinz shows us that not all labels are bad.

Heinzsight. I love it when somebody takes a brand and puts more into it than they have to. In this case, Heinz did some sweet seasonal ketchup bottle labels — They didn’t have to, but they did, and that made it better. Brand personality, yo.

Groovy work, Heinz. I hope you do something like this again soon.

NOTE: I was told there was also a summer beachball tomato label, but alas, I was not in time.

“In the future, everyone will be hydrated for 15 minutes.”

In 1983, Andy Warhol created over 40 screen prints featuring Perrier bottles.

In 2013, Perrier created 4 Perrier bottle labels as a tribute to Andy Warhol.

In 2015, Clayton Hove found them on a dusty K-Mart shelf in Bismarck, North Dakota, and bought them because he thought they were kinda neat.

“Well, that sucked.” — The Other Side of Branding

It’s happened to most of us at least once.

You’re at home watching television or some of your favorite skateboarding ferret videos on YouTube when a commercial comes on. It’s a pretty good commercial. It gets your attention and, after watching it, you form a positive opinion of the product and/or service it was advertising. In this instance, let’s say the ad was for a restaurant chain. The staff was friendly, the food looked great, the atmosphere seemed inviting and everybody seemed to be having a great time.

Hooray! The advertisement has worked and thanks to you forming an opinion, you are now part of the glorious branding experience. Continue reading

Looks like Mountain Dew broke Advertising Rule 3,657

Advertising Rule 3,657: Unless your product is a vaginal irrigation device, make sure your product’s name doesn’t have “douche” in it when spoken.


Mountain Dew’s Dewshine

When Poets Sell Out — 7 Shameless Examples of Product Placement in Poetry

There are more than a few people who bemoan the proliferation of product placement in today’s entertainment world, but unbeknownst to them, this is not a recent phenomenon. For centuries now, highly respected poets have turned themselves into blemished bards by skillfully plopping a brand into their work in exchange for a bit of money (or a decent bottle of absinthe). After a bit of research, I have found seven blatant examples of this foul practice that you might not have noticed back in English Lit class. Continue reading

Branding Nabisco a Little Bit Better

“Triscuit minis”

Tsk tsk tsk… Your product extension naming has gotten a little uninspired, Nabisco!

You did pretty good with Ritz Bits and Nutter Butter Bites, but with Mini Oreo, Mini Nilla Wafers, Mini Chips Ahoy! and now Triscuit minis, you guys are just phoning it in.

C’mon! We can do better! Let’s get out of the rut and do some real branding!

Let’s start with a few names the focus groups will absolutely hate, because that’s always fun to do and helps get it out of their systems…

Trisquarters

Lilliputriscuits

Fourthscuits

Runtriscuits

Diminuitriscuits

Shrimpscuits

Midgscuits

Shrunkscuits

And now several that might fare a little bit better…

Triscuit Petites

Triscuits for Dolls / Gnomes / Elves / Dwarves / Borrowers / etc.

Triscuit Bitscuits

Triscuit Runts (Whoops. Don’t wanna piss off Wonka. How about…)

Runty Triscuits

Now let’s try some consumer-friendly, mind-stickin’ alliteration and consonance…

Tiny Triscuits

Teeny Triscuits

Little Triscuits

And my personal favorites…

Triscuit Little Bits

Teensy-Weensy Triscuits

Teeny-Weeny Triscuits

Itty-Bitty Triscuits

While we’re at it, here’s a bonus suggestion for an umbrella brand name for your entire miniature product line…

NanoNabisco

You’re welcome. Now send me some money and move some units!

Love,
Clay