Just don’t ask what they renamed their sandwich artists.
At least they tried.
As I trudged through this rambling, convoluted bit of century-old writing, I started to hear it in the voice of Mojo Jojo (Roger L. Jackson) from The Powerpuff Girls and it suddenly became much, much better.
Pierce-Arrow Motor Car Company ad found on the back cover of a 1917 Life magazine.
It still doesn’t explain the blacksmith though.
“Umm… Excuse me, but why am I even in this ad?”
I was at Cascade’s website trying to figure out the difference between Cascade Platinum and Cascade Complete and didn’t see the “Of Clorox” in the list under “Cascade With The Power” and I would totally buy Cascade With The Power instead of Cascade Platinum or Cascade Complete.
Cascade With The Power
Let’s make this happen, people!
1949 “Travel Refreshed” Coca-Cola / Coke Santa Claus / Sprite Boy Ad
I have several questions.
Does Coke taste even better if you tilt the bottle up that high as you’re drinking it?
Did Santa pound that bottle cap into the Coca-Cola’s Sprite Boy’s forehead?
Does it mind control, lobotomize or zombify poor Sprite Boy?
Was Sprite Boy a naughty boy and this is his punishment?
If sprites are tiny, just how tiny are those tiny reindeer?
Seriously, that bottle cap looks like it hurts. Just look at his eyes.
Trivia: Coca-Cola didn’t introduce Sprite until 1961, which makes Sprite Boy pre-Sprite.
I’m sure it all made sense at the time.
Not even gonna rip on this ad, because those are awesome shoes. Somebody please make these shoes again!
A most groovy Pedwin ad from a 1974 magazine.
Ahhhhh… That awkward moment when the U.S. Postal Service mails you a booklet of great direct mail printing ideas and it arrives damaged.
“Intern Jenkins!”
“Yessir!”
“Black out our logos in the shoes we sold to TJ Maxx!”
“Yessir!”
“No one must ever know!”
“Yessir!”
“Protect our brand!”
“Yessir!”
Actual transcript from a Danimals commercial:
Girl: “What’s with the cool music?”
Boy: “We’ve been squeezefaced!”
Girl: “Squeezefaced?”
Boy: “From the deliciousness of Danimals Squeezables! Wanna get your squeeze on?”
Girl: “Bring it on!”
Boy: “Whoa! Cool!”
Girl: “It’s so good!”
Boy: “This is awesome!”
Boy: “Double squeezeface!”
Girl: “Look!”
Boy: “Whoa!”
Girl: “Wanna try one?”
Principal: “Wow!”
Boy and Girl: “School rocks!”
Girl: “New Danimals Squeezables!”
Boy: “Squeeze more fun into lunch!”
When I’m feeling sad, I simply remember that I don’t work on the Dannon Danimals account and then I don’t feel so bad.