Tag Archives: vintage ads

What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs?

I forgot to write down the comic book and year this Lincoln Logs ad came from, but I think it was from an issue of Roy Rogers.
I forgot to write down the comic book and year this Lincoln Logs ad came from, but I think it was from an issue of Roy Rogers.

Bone shards:

Lincoln Logs were invented by John Lloyd Wright, son of architect Frank Lloyd Wright. The first set came with instructions to build 1) Abraham Lincoln’s boyhood home and 2) Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

“Interesting playthings typifying the spirit of America.”

The last five letters in “Playskool” are considered to be a “sensational spelling” of “school. SENSATIONAL SPELLING. It’s a thing.

The Log Song!

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Ready and eager!

This is no time for sidesaddle.
Magazine ad for the 1950 Oldsmobile Rocket 88
Magazine ad for the 1950 Oldsmobile Rocket 88

Bone shards:

Street cred? This car had it.

Oldsmobile’s Rocket engine was kind of a big deal.

The voice of Rocket in the Marvel Guardians of the Galaxy movies is Bradley Cooper.

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Give the devil his Dew.

Magazine ad for Sanderson’s Mountain Dew Scotch circa 1906/1907
Magazine ad for Sanderson’s Mountain Dew Scotch circa 1906/1907

Bone shards:

The version of Mountain Dew that you’re probably more familiar with didn’t come around until 1940. Also, one of its early lines was “It’ll tickle yore innards.”

A version of this is still sold in Cameroon and the Ivory Coast.

A Sanderson’s Mountain Dew promotional knife can be yours for only $139.95.

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But her carbuncles…

A very old ad for Dr. D. Jayne’s Alterative found in a hardcover copy of Charles Addams’ Dear Dead Days collection.
A very old ad for Dr. D. Jayne’s Alterative found in a hardcover copy of Charles Addams’ Dear Dead Days collection.

Bone shards:

Some very interesting words are used to sell this amazing product. My apologies in advance if you are a Victorian hypochondriac. 

Alterative — a drug used empirically to alter favorably the course of an ailment

Deobstruent — having the power to clear or open the natural ducts of the fluids and secretions of the body

Scrofula — a condition in which the bacteria that causes tuberculosis causes symptoms outside the lungs

King’s Evil — (AKA scrofula) a tuberculous swelling of the lymph glands, once popularly supposed to be curable by the touch of royalty

White Swellings – a swelling seen in tuberculous arthritis, esp. of the knee

Scrofulous — refers to scrofula, or figuratively, morally contaminated and corrupt

Indolent — lazy or slothlike, or a problem that causes no pain, or is slow-growing and not immediately problematic

Mercurial — characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood

Neuralgia — a stabbing, burning, and often severe pain due to an irritated or damaged nerve.

Tic-Douloureux — a severe, stabbing pain to one side of the face

Goitre — (you might know this as “goiter”) a swelling of the thyroid gland that causes a lump in the front of the neck

Bronchocele (swelled neck) — impacted mucoid secretions within the bronchial tree

Tetter – any of various skin diseases, such as eczema, psoriasis, or herpes, characterized by eruptions and itching, or possibly ringworm for old-timers

Biles — either something having to do with your bile/liver/gall bladder, or going back even further, either of two bodily humours, one of which (black bile) was thought to cause melancholy and the other (yellow bile) anger  

Carbuncles — a skin infection that often involves a group of hair follicles. The infected material forms a lump, which occurs deep in the skin and often contains pus.

Dyspepsia — indigestion

Dropsical Swellings — (AKA edema or dropsy) swelling caused by fluid retention

Don’t you feel smarter (and a little bit sicker) now?

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They’re femineered!

International Harvester Refrigerator magazine ad found in a 1951 issue of Tractor Farming
International Harvester Refrigerator magazine ad found in a 1951 issue of Tractor Farming

That’s right. Femineered.

Bone shards:

Monica and Rachel had an International Harvester refrigerator on Friends, and it appears to have made somebody with same fridge a tad grumpy.

The plant where International Harvester made its refrigerators and air conditioners used to build P-47 Thunderbolts.

Wow! You’re strangely excited about refrigeration! Ok, here’s a history. Now settle down.

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This dude would fit right in with today’s pandemic hairstyles.

1976 magazine ad for Winston cigarettes
1976 magazine ad for Winston cigarettes

Bone shards:

Winston sponsored NASCAR’s elite division with the Winston Cup series from 1971 to 2003. 

Winston was once the world’s best selling cigarette until it was bumped by Marlboro in the 1970s.

Fred and Barney used to smoke Winstons.

Some science about chest hair.

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“Until you push the magic button.”

Panasonic magazine ad from around 1969
Panasonic magazine ad from around 1969

Let’s get this out of the way right away — “Just slightly ahead of our time.” was a fabulous tagline and they’ve never surpassed it. Not even close.

Bone shards:

Did you know you used to be able to get record players installed in your car?

Have you met The Electric Prunes mentioned in the body copy?

Six Panasonic D batteries will set you back around $15 these days. Last time I checked, at least.

Panasonic made the first bread machine. Who knew!? Well, probably Panasonic.

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The Safest Explosive

Magazine ad for Atlas Farm Powder found in a 1916 issue of The Country Gentleman
Magazine ad for Atlas Farm Powder found in a 1916 issue of The Country Gentleman

Farmer go boom.

Bone Shards:

The once-free book will now set you back $50 at Abe Books.

If it’s so safe, why did it say “Dangerous” on the crate?

Did you know that the Nobel prizes were pretty much made possible by dynamite?

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Behind them, the iceberg emerged from the mysterious cloud.

1934 magazine ad for Chesterfield cigarettes
1934 magazine ad for Chesterfield cigarettes

Bone shards:

Titanic trivia? Sure!

Icebergs too? As you wish.

What does he or she mean about “that way”? I’m not sure, but it probably involves a riding crop and lots of Vaseline.

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“Brown shoes don’t make it.” — Frank Zappa

1948 magazine ad for Lady Nettleton shoes
1948 magazine ad for Lady Nettleton shoes

I’m sorry, but Lady Nettleton can’t come to the phone right now. She’s having tea with Mrs. Nesbit.

I’ve heard of gila monsters, and Gilly, and ghillie suits, but I never knew that a ghillie was also a type of shoe. Who knew!?

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