Poor Little Turtle Children

slow turtle child

It horrifies and sickens me that some parents would publicly shame their underperforming children like this.

“Thank you for paying for your service plan these last few years, sucker.”

That magical moment when, after not having hot water for three days, your utility company’s outsourced service plan provider decides to give you the middle finger via voicemail.

Blowing Smoke

For those of you who still believe that corporations always have the best interests of Americans in mind, here’s a nice little something from 1984.

(cough) (cough) Bullshit! (cough) (cough)

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I finally found some spae for my cawpers!

You know how a prisoner is offered a final cigarette before being executed by firing squad?…

1974 magazine ad for Old Gold

Eek.

Toitoitoi

Time to learn a little German — a German cat food (I hope) magazine ad from the 60s.

Toitoitoi — You’re going to like this word.

If Concrete Blonde’s Johnette Napolitano had dated the Pillsbury Doughboy

If Concrete Blonde’s Johnette Napolitano had dated the Pillsbury Doughboy

I’m so very sorry.

YO DAWG I HERD YOU LIKE BACKPACKS SO…

backpacking backpacks

I want to know what happened in 1989.

I liked Michaels better before they updated their “Where Shit Happens” tagline.