Insidious Diseases and Hidden Decay

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Would you trust your tree with this man?

“I will go out on a limb for your tree.” — John Davey, probably
Ad for Davey Tree Surgeons found in the April 1917 issue of Countryside / Suburban Life magazine.
Ad for Davey Tree Surgeons found in the April 1917 issue of Countryside / Suburban Life magazine.

Bone shards:

I didn’t realize that tree surgeons were a thing until I read a bit about the profession in a Straight Dope column about Groucho Marx by Cecil Adams. Yes, you should read the entire column.

Way back in the day, Groucho Marx hosted a radio/TV quiz show called “You Bet Your Life. During one show when he was interviewing a tree surgeon, he asked, “Have you ever fallen out of any of your patients?”

Read one heck of an obituary for Groucho here.

And now you know about tree surgeons too.

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Three words: Giant Riding Saw

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Giant Riding Saw

Bone shards:

So would this thing actually work as advertised, or was it one of those early Caveat Emptor / Buyer Beware moments?

Wanna see the world’s largest saw? Yes, yes you do.

Wanna hear Ave Maria played on a musical saw? Yes, yes you do.

Why buy a giant riding saw when you can just hire one of these guys?

One of these contraptions still exists! Sadly, they don’t show it in action.

Lastly, and not for the squeamish, a history of the punishment known as Death by Sawing.

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“Aveu!” “Gesundheit.”

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1947 magazine ad for Roger & Gallet’s Aveu perfume
1947 magazine ad for Roger & Gallet’s Aveu perfume

Is he about to push her over the railing?

Or maybe he’s a chiropractor about to make an adjustment.

Bone shards:

“Aveu” is French for “confession”, so “Aveu Confession du désir” means “confession confession of desire”.

“It is a feminine floral, created in 1946. Just at the end of the war, women were looking for beauty, flowers, things that would cheer them up after years of hardship, and Aveu was launched for this purpose.”

I have been unsuccessful in tracking down information on the assumed artist, Cydney. If you know anything, please hook me up!

The sophisticated name for a railing is balustrade. The vertical thingies on a balustrade are balusters. Now aren’t you fancy!?

Check out that sweet ampersand.

ampersand
ampersand

I was hoping there’d be a fancy name for those fingerless long/arm/sleeve gloves. Alas. “Gants à manches sans doigts” is a bit of a mouthful.

A 50ml flacon of this vintage perfume could set you back over $300.

A flacon is a bottle.

A falcon is a bird.

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most provocative

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1969 magazine ad for Lanvin’s My Sin perfume
1969 magazine ad for Lanvin’s My Sin perfume

Bone shards:

“What the hell am I smelling and why is it so wonderful? …Whatever the notes are, they’ve converged to create a sexual flower, one that is at its peak of fragrance, like a meadow in full bloom on the hottest spring day, visited by the horniest, healthiest bees.” — from a My Sin review

Lanvin’s My Sin was formulated by a mysterious Russian perfumer named Madame Zed.

What is dusting powder (one of the variations listed at the bottom of the ad)?

Black cats are awesome. You should adopt one from a shelter.

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Sealed with a kiss and probably a paper cut.

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1947 magazine ad for Eaton’s Fine Letter Papers
1947 magazine ad for Eaton’s Fine Letter Papers

When was the last time you write a real letter, you cold and heartless monster?

Bone shards:

This company was founded in 1893 to manufacture social stationery. Social stationery. The first social media?

Feel like writing somebody a real letter? Etsy and eBay have some sellers with vintage Eaton stationery.

I know you can’t wait to read about the history of paper.

You wanna go old-old school? I got ya — the history of papyrus.

Remember Cursive?

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Meatier. Plumper. Tighter.

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No, this isn’t an ad for Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice; it’s for bananas!

1967 magazine ad for Chiquita Bananas / United Fruit Company
1967 magazine ad for Chiquita Bananas / United Fruit Company

Bone shards:

Who is Luther Burbank, the dude mentioned in the body copy? Without him, there wouldn’t be french fries.

Ever hear of a banana republic? You can thank these guys for that.

There are over a thousand different types of bananas, including the ice cream banana.

Did you know those gross stringy things on a banana have a name? Phloem bundles! That’s one of my favorite bits of useless knowledge.

Stephen Colbert and Gwen Stefani once argued over the spelling of bananas.

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The disturbing joy of a new romance.

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Germaine Monteil’s Laughter perfume magazine ad found in a 1946 issue of Art News
Germaine Monteil’s Laughter perfume magazine ad found in a 1946 issue of Art News

I’m mostly sharing this ad just for that one line of copy. It’s a beaut.

Bone shards:

Laughter was Germaine Monteil’s first perfume. It was later rebranded as Rigolade, which is French for “joke”.

Laughter took eight years to develop. “It smells good too.” — Esquire, 1951

“Beauty is not a gift, rather the combination of natural charisms, personal style and expert care.” — Germaine Monteil

Is laughter the best medicine?

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Playa please.

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Magazine ad for Player’s Navy Cut tobacco from a 1902 issue of Country Life magazine (the UK one, not the USA one).
Magazine ad for Player’s Navy Cut tobacco from a 1902 issue of Country Life magazine (the UK one, not the USA one).

Bone shards:

Player’s Navy Cut was discontinued in 2016. Not a bad run.

One of its slogans in the 1920s was “Player’s Please”. It’s a long shot, but I think it’s possible this was an early version of the more recent “Playa please.”

And yes, “Me likee” is a racist stereotype. Don’t do that.

Detail: Notice the “Hero” on the sailor’s hat.

And just because, here’s a possible origin for “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

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A peacock “has angels’ feathers, a devil’s voice, and the walk of a thief.”

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It’s been quite a week, so here’s the cover of my copy of January 1934’s Country Life magazine. The masthead has some design issues but the artwork is sublime.

This took a long time to reach me, but it was worth the wait.

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