12 Easy Steps to Really Shine with Social Media

Over the last three months, many exciting and status-quo-shattering advances have taken place in social media: Google’s new sentient social algorithms, Facebook’s beta Extra-Like button and Twitter’s premium 141st-character option, to name but a few. This article will teach you how to best exploit these new opportunities for dynamic social media mastery in only twelve easy steps.
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Kitty Noir Excerpt with Cricket and Vixen (photoset)


“It’s going to take both of us to finally bring down El Dyson.”


“I.. I don’t know if I’m strong enough, Cricket. Remember what El Dyson did to me in Madrid?”


“Of course I remember Madrid, Vixen. I also remember you saying El Dyson must be stopped. I… I can’t do this without you.”


“Let’s do this thing. But first, a nap.”
“Of course. And then perhaps another nap.”
“Of course. For strength.”
“For strength.”

What if the monster truck rally radio commercial voiceover guy normally talks like that?

At a Starbucks:
“VENTI VENTI VENTI!!!”

Buying a toilet at Lowe’s:
“WHY DO I HAVE TO BUY THE WHOLE SEAT IF I ONLY NEED THE EDGE!?!?”

At the ballet:
“YOU CALL THAT A PIROUETTE!?!?”

Deer hunting with his pals:
“IT MUST HAVE SMELLED US!!!”

At a funeral:
“SHE’S IN A BETTER PLACE NOW!!!”

At a ski resort:
“AVALANCHE!!! ANOTHER AVALANCHE!!!”

Discussing the weather:
“IT’S NOT THE HEAT!!! IT’S THE HUMIDITY!!!”

In the kitchen:
“MY SOUFFLÉ!!!”

At the proctologist:
“MY BOWELS ARE ALREADY SHAKING!!!”

In space:
“………………..!!!”

At a public library:
“I HAVE AS MUCH RIGHT TO BE IN HERE AS EVERYBODY ELSE!!!”

Calling the family cat in at night:
“MISTER WHISKERS!!! MISTER WHISKERS!!! HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY!!!”

Checking on his children at midnight:
“ARE YOU ASLEEP!?!?”