Approximately 20% of Americans believe that Ben Franklin was a U.S. president. This apparently includes Subway restaurants, as seen in their Februany campaign. Happy Presidents’ Day!

Hostess Brands, “one of the largest wholesale bakers and distributors of fresh delivered bread and snack cakes in the United States”, might currently be going through another round of bankruptcy, but you just gotta admire a company that takes the time, money and effort to trademark the phrase “The Original Squiggle” for its Hostess Cupcakes brand.

A triumph in genetic engineering, black magic and initial sales, demand soon plummeted for the evil hot wings that noisily regenerated themselves after every bite.

One of my deepest and darkest secrets is that for a brief period of time in high school, I used to sell suits and cologne at Dayton’s, a department store that would later became Marshall Field’s and then Macy’s. Dayton’s was also the parent company that gave birth to Target back in the 60s, well before my time.

I remember yuppies with yellow power ties favoring Xeryus by Givenchy, a scent that made me gag like a valley girl on a first date. Fish ties were also in vogue for some reason, if just for a moment. I also remember guys with “gentleman’s fit” bodies desperately wanting to fit into the “athletic fit” suits. Now all these years and pounds later, I finally understand why.

Woo! Check out the rack on that first one!

Of all the Christmas promos and gimmicks we were deluged with this holiday season, my favorite came to me in the mail.

Behold, the Maker’s Mark whisky bottle Christmas sweater!

Although it doesn’t quite jive with the Maker’s Mark TV campaign, I’m more than willing to overlook that little fact because it’s so damned spiffy.

Adtothebone.com approves! Now for next time, make sure some of your fine whisky comes with it too, ‘k?

…or does it!?