The Secret

He had money. Fame. An ingenious mind, devastating looks and a passionate soul.

His cheekbones carved by the gods. His jaw set in utter confidence.

Men and women wanted to be him. Do him. Breathe the air next to him.

Angels heralded his every entrance. Devils coveted his many charms.

What was his secret?

Beef Ravioli by Chef Boyardee.

When in doubt, mumble

When in charge, ponder When in trouble, delegate When in doubt, mumble

I found some curious vintage leadership advice at the local Goodwill store. And yes, it went home with me for the low, low price of $1.99.

Respect to Siggi’s for not being afraid of awesome words like “vexatious”.

When you’re late to the party but the orgy’s just begun.

Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc is the perfect choice for a swingin’ Saturday night.

Grab a glass, drop your pants, and undo ordinary.

I bet Les Nessman subscribes.

Dungasaurus

It’s more properly called coprolite, but somebody at the antique store understands the target audience.

And that’s why Bob in Accounting is no longer allowed to write advertising copy.

As I trudged through this rambling, convoluted bit of century-old writing, I started to hear it in the voice of Mojo Jojo (Roger L. Jackson) from The Powerpuff Girls and it suddenly became much, much better.

Pierce-Arrow Motor Car Company ad found on the back cover of a 1917 Life magazine.

It still doesn’t explain the blacksmith though.

“Umm… Excuse me, but why am I even in this ad?”

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Bill Boley was a madman.

Fresh from an antique store in Bismarck, a 1952 book on how to make different typefaces by hand. Thank God for computers (on the 8th day).

Bodoni the old-old-old-school way. I bodon’t think so.

When you’re not quite sure if that’s a real Burberry ad or a parody Burberry ad.

The end of Sears nears.

Sears, Gateway Mall, Bismarck, North Dakota