Tag Archives: history

Three words: Giant Riding Saw

Giant Riding Saw

Bone shards:

So would this thing actually work as advertised, or was it one of those early Caveat Emptor / Buyer Beware moments?

Wanna see the world’s largest saw? Yes, yes you do.

Wanna hear Ave Maria played on a musical saw? Yes, yes you do.

Why buy a giant riding saw when you can just hire one of these guys?

One of these contraptions still exists! Sadly, they don’t show it in action.

Lastly, and not for the squeamish, a history of the punishment known as Death by Sawing.

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Meatier. Plumper. Tighter.

No, this isn’t an ad for Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice; it’s for bananas!

1967 magazine ad for Chiquita Bananas / United Fruit Company
1967 magazine ad for Chiquita Bananas / United Fruit Company

Bone shards:

Who is Luther Burbank, the dude mentioned in the body copy? Without him, there wouldn’t be french fries.

Ever hear of a banana republic? You can thank these guys for that.

There are over a thousand different types of bananas, including the ice cream banana.

Did you know those gross stringy things on a banana have a name? Phloem bundles! That’s one of my favorite bits of useless knowledge.

Stephen Colbert and Gwen Stefani once argued over the spelling of bananas.

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The disturbing joy of a new romance.

Germaine Monteil’s Laughter perfume magazine ad found in a 1946 issue of Art News
Germaine Monteil’s Laughter perfume magazine ad found in a 1946 issue of Art News

I’m mostly sharing this ad just for that one line of copy. It’s a beaut.

Bone shards:

Laughter was Germaine Monteil’s first perfume. It was later rebranded as Rigolade, which is French for “joke”.

Laughter took eight years to develop. “It smells good too.” — Esquire, 1951

“Beauty is not a gift, rather the combination of natural charisms, personal style and expert care.” — Germaine Monteil

Is laughter the best medicine?

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For real ball handling…

A comic book ad for Spalding from 1977.
A comic book ad for Spalding from 1977.

Bone shards:

Who is that white dude, err, I mean that nearly unstoppable offensive juggernaut?

Rick Barry’s free throws were underhanded, granny-style, or granny shots, which some of you may remember from a certain Will Ferrell basketball movie.

Behold, the great and wondrous Julius Erving / Dr. J.

During World War II, Spalding helped manufacture M1918 Browning Automatic Rifles.

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Oh, like a wizard bear never grabbed your ass while you were playing video games in the shopping mall arcade.

Cheeky.
Cheeky.
A 1983 magazine ad for Atari’s Crystal Castles.
A 1983 magazine ad for Atari’s Crystal Castles.

Bone shards:

Bentley Bear makes an appearance in Wreck-It Ralph!

Crystal Castles was a trackball game. And now I’m having Marble Madness flashbacks.

Crystal Castles is now a Canadian band.

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Give the devil his Dew.

Magazine ad for Sanderson’s Mountain Dew Scotch circa 1906/1907
Magazine ad for Sanderson’s Mountain Dew Scotch circa 1906/1907

Bone shards:

The version of Mountain Dew that you’re probably more familiar with didn’t come around until 1940. Also, one of its early lines was “It’ll tickle yore innards.”

A version of this is still sold in Cameroon and the Ivory Coast.

A Sanderson’s Mountain Dew promotional knife can be yours for only $139.95.

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But her carbuncles…

A very old ad for Dr. D. Jayne’s Alterative found in a hardcover copy of Charles Addams’ Dear Dead Days collection.
A very old ad for Dr. D. Jayne’s Alterative found in a hardcover copy of Charles Addams’ Dear Dead Days collection.

Bone shards:

Some very interesting words are used to sell this amazing product. My apologies in advance if you are a Victorian hypochondriac. 

Alterative — a drug used empirically to alter favorably the course of an ailment

Deobstruent — having the power to clear or open the natural ducts of the fluids and secretions of the body

Scrofula — a condition in which the bacteria that causes tuberculosis causes symptoms outside the lungs

King’s Evil — (AKA scrofula) a tuberculous swelling of the lymph glands, once popularly supposed to be curable by the touch of royalty

White Swellings – a swelling seen in tuberculous arthritis, esp. of the knee

Scrofulous — refers to scrofula, or figuratively, morally contaminated and corrupt

Indolent — lazy or slothlike, or a problem that causes no pain, or is slow-growing and not immediately problematic

Mercurial — characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood

Neuralgia — a stabbing, burning, and often severe pain due to an irritated or damaged nerve.

Tic-Douloureux — a severe, stabbing pain to one side of the face

Goitre — (you might know this as “goiter”) a swelling of the thyroid gland that causes a lump in the front of the neck

Bronchocele (swelled neck) — impacted mucoid secretions within the bronchial tree

Tetter – any of various skin diseases, such as eczema, psoriasis, or herpes, characterized by eruptions and itching, or possibly ringworm for old-timers

Biles — either something having to do with your bile/liver/gall bladder, or going back even further, either of two bodily humours, one of which (black bile) was thought to cause melancholy and the other (yellow bile) anger  

Carbuncles — a skin infection that often involves a group of hair follicles. The infected material forms a lump, which occurs deep in the skin and often contains pus.

Dyspepsia — indigestion

Dropsical Swellings — (AKA edema or dropsy) swelling caused by fluid retention

Don’t you feel smarter (and a little bit sicker) now?

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When life hands you lemons…

Found in the April, 1973 issue of Vogue magazine
Found in the April, 1973 issue of Vogue magazine

…make a pantsuit! 

Bone shards:

A mini-history of Dalton.

Here’s more than you probably wanted to know about palazzo pants.

Trevire — Finally, a replacement for that dreadful crimplene

Timothy Dalton was the fifth actor to portray James Bond. Or maybe the sixth. Seventh?

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They’re femineered!

International Harvester Refrigerator magazine ad found in a 1951 issue of Tractor Farming
International Harvester Refrigerator magazine ad found in a 1951 issue of Tractor Farming

That’s right. Femineered.

Bone shards:

Monica and Rachel had an International Harvester refrigerator on Friends, and it appears to have made somebody with same fridge a tad grumpy.

The plant where International Harvester made its refrigerators and air conditioners used to build P-47 Thunderbolts.

Wow! You’re strangely excited about refrigeration! Ok, here’s a history. Now settle down.

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This dude would fit right in with today’s pandemic hairstyles.

1976 magazine ad for Winston cigarettes
1976 magazine ad for Winston cigarettes

Bone shards:

Winston sponsored NASCAR’s elite division with the Winston Cup series from 1971 to 2003. 

Winston was once the world’s best selling cigarette until it was bumped by Marlboro in the 1970s.

Fred and Barney used to smoke Winstons.

Some science about chest hair.

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