Bone shards:
So would this thing actually work as advertised, or was it one of those early Caveat Emptor / Buyer Beware moments?
Wanna see the world’s largest saw? Yes, yes you do.
Wanna hear Ave Maria played on a musical saw? Yes, yes you do.
Why buy a giant riding saw when you can just hire one of these guys?
One of these contraptions still exists! Sadly, they don’t show it in action.
Lastly, and not for the squeamish, a history of the punishment known as Death by Sawing.
Continue readingNo, this isn’t an ad for Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice; it’s for bananas!
Bone shards:
Who is Luther Burbank, the dude mentioned in the body copy? Without him, there wouldn’t be french fries.
Ever hear of a banana republic? You can thank these guys for that.
There are over a thousand different types of bananas, including the ice cream banana.
Did you know those gross stringy things on a banana have a name? Phloem bundles! That’s one of my favorite bits of useless knowledge.
Stephen Colbert and Gwen Stefani once argued over the spelling of bananas.
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I’m mostly sharing this ad just for that one line of copy. It’s a beaut.
Bone shards:
Laughter was Germaine Monteil’s first perfume. It was later rebranded as Rigolade, which is French for “joke”.
Laughter took eight years to develop. “It smells good too.” — Esquire, 1951
“Beauty is not a gift, rather the combination of natural charisms, personal style and expert care.” — Germaine Monteil
Is laughter the best medicine?
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Bone shards:
Who is that white dude, err, I mean that nearly unstoppable offensive juggernaut?
Rick Barry’s free throws were underhanded, granny-style, or granny shots, which some of you may remember from a certain Will Ferrell basketball movie.
Behold, the great and wondrous Julius Erving / Dr. J.
During World War II, Spalding helped manufacture M1918 Browning Automatic Rifles.
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Bone shards:
Bentley Bear makes an appearance in Wreck-It Ralph!
Crystal Castles was a trackball game. And now I’m having Marble Madness flashbacks.
Crystal Castles is now a Canadian band.
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Bone shards:
The version of Mountain Dew that you’re probably more familiar with didn’t come around until 1940. Also, one of its early lines was “It’ll tickle yore innards.”
A version of this is still sold in Cameroon and the Ivory Coast.
A Sanderson’s Mountain Dew promotional knife can be yours for only $139.95.
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Bone shards:
Some very interesting words are used to sell this amazing product. My apologies in advance if you are a Victorian hypochondriac.
Alterative — a drug used empirically to alter favorably the course of an ailment
Deobstruent — having the power to clear or open the natural ducts of the fluids and secretions of the body
Scrofula — a condition in which the bacteria that causes tuberculosis causes symptoms outside the lungs
King’s Evil — (AKA scrofula) a tuberculous swelling of the lymph glands, once popularly supposed to be curable by the touch of royalty
White Swellings – a swelling seen in tuberculous arthritis, esp. of the knee
Scrofulous — refers to scrofula, or figuratively, morally contaminated and corrupt
Indolent — lazy or slothlike, or a problem that causes no pain, or is slow-growing and not immediately problematic
Mercurial — characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood
Neuralgia — a stabbing, burning, and often severe pain due to an irritated or damaged nerve.
Tic-Douloureux — a severe, stabbing pain to one side of the face
Goitre — (you might know this as “goiter”) a swelling of the thyroid gland that causes a lump in the front of the neck
Bronchocele (swelled neck) — impacted mucoid secretions within the bronchial tree
Tetter – any of various skin diseases, such as eczema, psoriasis, or herpes, characterized by eruptions and itching, or possibly ringworm for old-timers
Biles — either something having to do with your bile/liver/gall bladder, or going back even further, either of two bodily humours, one of which (black bile) was thought to cause melancholy and the other (yellow bile) anger
Carbuncles — a skin infection that often involves a group of hair follicles. The infected material forms a lump, which occurs deep in the skin and often contains pus.
Dyspepsia — indigestion
Dropsical Swellings — (AKA edema or dropsy) swelling caused by fluid retention
Don’t you feel smarter (and a little bit sicker) now?
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…make a pantsuit!
Bone shards:
A mini-history of Dalton.
Here’s more than you probably wanted to know about palazzo pants.
Trevire — Finally, a replacement for that dreadful crimplene!
Timothy Dalton was the fifth actor to portray James Bond. Or maybe the sixth. Seventh?
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That’s right. Femineered.
Bone shards:
Monica and Rachel had an International Harvester refrigerator on Friends, and it appears to have made somebody with same fridge a tad grumpy.
The plant where International Harvester made its refrigerators and air conditioners used to build P-47 Thunderbolts.
Wow! You’re strangely excited about refrigeration! Ok, here’s a history. Now settle down.
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Bone shards:
Winston sponsored NASCAR’s elite division with the Winston Cup series from 1971 to 2003.
Winston was once the world’s best selling cigarette until it was bumped by Marlboro in the 1970s.
Fred and Barney used to smoke Winstons.
Some science about chest hair.
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