Tag Archives: vintage

Be A Somebody!

Fun fact: “Punk rock” didn’t exist as a term before Creem’s May 1971 issue. 

CREEM Magazine Comic Book Ad
Found in Marvel Team-Up 12 – 1973 and enlarged some for the interwebs.

Bonus: Check out the short trailer for a CREEM documentary here.

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You don’t know Fosdick.

Fearless Fosdick was a comic strip parody of Dick Tracy that existed inside another comic strip, Al Capp’s Li’l Abner. He became so popular that he got his own TV puppet show, inspired the creation of MAD Magazine (allegedly) and became the spokesman, in his own way, for Wildroot Cream-Oil hair tonic. 

Also, he was stupid, broke, had terrible aim and was frequently shot. Not quite a Dapper Dan, but he did the job.

Fearless Fosdick for Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic
Found in DC’s Strange Adventures #66 (1956)
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Alternative Juice — A good part of this Kellyanne Conway breakfast.

(Note: It’s actually “alterative juice”, but I’m sticking with alternative juice because it amuses me.)

If you got syphilis, yo, this’ll solve it.
Alternative juice will prolly dissolve it.

Succus Alterans Alternative Juice
Seen at a North Star Auction preview in Bismarck, North Dakota. Alas, I did not win it the next day.

Let’s check out these Succus Alterans Alternative Juice ingredients! According to Wikipedia…

Stillingia sylvatica was used by Native Americans for syphilis and as a cathartic, diuretic, laxative, and emetic. In large doses, it causes vomiting and diarrhea.”

Smilax ornata (sarsparilla) “was a popular European treatment for syphilis when it was introduced from the New World.”

Phytolacca Decandra (pokeweed) is poisonous and was used for skin diseases, rheumatism, weight loss, mumps and arthritis.

Lappa Minor’s (lesser durdock) larger cousin, Arctium lappa, was used as “a diuretic, diaphoretic, and a blood purifying agent” as well as a cancer, skin condition and cold/flu treatment.

Xanthoxylum carolinanium (Hercules’ club) is also known as the “toothache tree” or “tingle tongue” and was used to treat toothache.

Who needs orange juice with a delightful concoction like this!

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They’re jolly! They’re jumping! They’re… spurge seed pods infested with moth larvae!

The Jolly Jumping Bean Family

Now, what’s more colorful than colors?

I can’t hear ya! I say what’s, what’s more colorful than Mexicolors?

Alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright!

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Now with more diarrhoea!

Nyal Diarrhoea Mixture
Mmmm… 84% pure diarrhoea…
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“Big bubbles. No troubles.” — Sir Mix-a-Lot (attributed)

Hubba Bubba
1980 comic book ad for Hubba Bubba bubble gum

What a great way to introduce a new brand.

Look at the sheer amount of copy in this comic book ad aimed at kids!

The copywriter even got “akimbo” and “dadgum” approved!

Wowie-zowie! I’m impressed.

Note: I had no idea Hubba Bubba was available in mint flavor back in 1980.

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Hobnob with the Snobs

“Tonight we will enjoy only the finest of tastes and only the snootiest of laughter.”

— Preston Northwest, Gravity Falls

The California Limited
1904 magazine ad for the hoity-toity California Limited
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Tone Lōc has “Funky Cold Medina.” I have…

Guaranteed to quench your vices.
A pile of ham and a dose of spices.
Served with salad, maybe rices.
It’s budget-minded, low on prices.
Blowin’ up on your devices.
Hoes love spunky shoulder slices.

Spunky Shoulder Slices

Covergirl

If you know me, you know I had no choice but to find and acquire this magazine. 

Eek
November 1908 Farm Life magazine — was in rough shape but Photoshop helped me de-age it some.
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The perfect word.

Behold, the out-of-print poster you never knew you wanted.

The perfect word.
Found in Rolling Stone Magazine, May 22, 1975.
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