Tag Archives: vintage

Beep-beep zip bang!

1971 Plymouth Road Runner

Fun facts: 

Plymouth paid Warner Bros. fifty grand to use the Road Runner name and likeness.

Hatched in 1968, the Plymouth Road Runner wasn’t discontinued until 1980.

And yes, Plymouth had a special beep-beep horn for it, developed by the Sparton Corporation of Jackson, Michigan. Hear it here.

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You are under the spell of Ka•Bala!

It's Ka•Bala!
Found in Harvey Comics’ Richie Rich #66 (1968)

Did you know that in 2016, Bass Pro Shops acquired Ka•Bala for $5,500,000,000?

Wait… I’m being told that was Cabela’s, not Ka•Bala.

Well, did you know that Madonna became involved with Ka•Bala way back in 1998?

Wait… Now I’m being told that was Kabbalah, not Ka•Bala.

Well then, what the heck is this thing!?

Oh, just some proprietary blend of tarot, spin-the-bottle, magic 8-ball and ouija board, I guess.

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Poke up a fire and re-lax.

Cold-reading the intro to Better Homes & Gardens Barbecue Book: Complete How-to for Outdoor Cooking. Glorious writing and illustration.

“No longer are pitiful little misshapen, ricket-twisted bodies excusable.”

Rawleigh's Cod Liver Oil
Found in Rawleigh’s 1932 Good Health Guide, Cook Book and Year Book.
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Woe Is Me

Walt Kuhn for Life humor magazine, December 13, 1906

Be A Somebody!

Fun fact: “Punk rock” didn’t exist as a term before Creem’s May 1971 issue. 

CREEM Magazine Comic Book Ad
Found in Marvel Team-Up 12 – 1973 and enlarged some for the interwebs.

Bonus: Check out the short trailer for a CREEM documentary here.

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You don’t know Fosdick.

Fearless Fosdick was a comic strip parody of Dick Tracy that existed inside another comic strip, Al Capp’s Li’l Abner. He became so popular that he got his own TV puppet show, inspired the creation of MAD Magazine (allegedly) and became the spokesman, in his own way, for Wildroot Cream-Oil hair tonic. 

Also, he was stupid, broke, had terrible aim and was frequently shot. Not quite a Dapper Dan, but he did the job.

Fearless Fosdick for Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic
Found in DC’s Strange Adventures #66 (1956)
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Alternative Juice — A good part of this Kellyanne Conway breakfast.

(Note: It’s actually “alterative juice”, but I’m sticking with alternative juice because it amuses me.)

If you got syphilis, yo, this’ll solve it.
Alternative juice will prolly dissolve it.

Succus Alterans Alternative Juice
Seen at a North Star Auction preview in Bismarck, North Dakota. Alas, I did not win it the next day.

Let’s check out these Succus Alterans Alternative Juice ingredients! According to Wikipedia…

Stillingia sylvatica was used by Native Americans for syphilis and as a cathartic, diuretic, laxative, and emetic. In large doses, it causes vomiting and diarrhea.”

Smilax ornata (sarsparilla) “was a popular European treatment for syphilis when it was introduced from the New World.”

Phytolacca Decandra (pokeweed) is poisonous and was used for skin diseases, rheumatism, weight loss, mumps and arthritis.

Lappa Minor’s (lesser durdock) larger cousin, Arctium lappa, was used as “a diuretic, diaphoretic, and a blood purifying agent” as well as a cancer, skin condition and cold/flu treatment.

Xanthoxylum carolinanium (Hercules’ club) is also known as the “toothache tree” or “tingle tongue” and was used to treat toothache.

Who needs orange juice with a delightful concoction like this!

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They’re jolly! They’re jumping! They’re… spurge seed pods infested with moth larvae!

The Jolly Jumping Bean Family

Now, what’s more colorful than colors?

I can’t hear ya! I say what’s, what’s more colorful than Mexicolors?

Alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright!

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Now with more diarrhoea!

Nyal Diarrhoea Mixture
Mmmm… 84% pure diarrhoea…
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