Tag Archives: advertising

Blowing Smoke

For those of you who still believe that corporations always have the best interests of Americans in mind, here’s a nice little something from 1984.

(cough) (cough) Bullshit! (cough) (cough)

Continue reading

You know how a prisoner is offered a final cigarette before being executed by firing squad?…

1974 magazine ad for Old Gold

Eek.

Toitoitoi

Time to learn a little German — a German cat food (I hope) magazine ad from the 60s.

Toitoitoi — You’re going to like this word.

It’s not just a job, it’s an (cough cough) adventure.

1943 magazine ad for Chesterfield cigarettes

What’s going on here with the Commodore lurking behind the Lieutenant? Is he her friend? Her mentor? her dad? Her lover? Her fashion consultant? A creep? A ghost? A German spy? CURIOUS MINDS WANT TO KNOW! Continue reading

Do you even backgammon, brio… err… I mean, bro?

1974 magazine ad for Roman Brio

Think about it — This ad’s style is ripe for parody.

I’m a narcissist…
so make it all about me.
Everybody’s doing smack…
And I’m willing to shoot some up,
but cocaine’s my bag.
I don’t eat bananas because potassium is cool.
I buy them because they look like bright yellow penises.

Trivia: “Brio” appears to be Italian for “vivacity”, which isn’t exactly the manliest of words. Continue reading

“I’m a maverick?” — John McCain

1974 magazine ad for Maverick Jeans & Sportswear

I have many questions about these three, but I’d rather not get them answered. Continue reading

The Meat For Every Occasion… except for perhaps Bar Mitzvahs.

Uncle George likes his meat solid.

Hormel’s SPAM is infamously “spiced ham”.
Armour’s Treet is a “spiced luncheon loaf”.
Wilson & Co.’s MOR was described as “no bone”, “no gristle” and “solid”. Can’t imagine why they’re not still around. Continue reading

Behold, the Big O!

1943 magazine ad for General Mills Cheerioats (later Cheerios)

General Mills’ Cheerioats was invented in 1941. It didn’t long for Quaker Oats to gripe about the name and threaten legal action, so Cheerioats became Cheerios in 1945. Good thing, because autocorrect hates hates hates “Cheerioats”. Continue reading

You’ve got style! You’ve got flair! Something phallic for your hair!

1974 magazine ad for Vitalis Dry 3

Vitalis Dry 3 is sold in a can that looks like a robot’s penis, but leaves you softer and not as stiff. I’m getting mixed messages here. Continue reading

Mmmm… Meat analogues…

1946 magazine ad for Worthington Foods

Long before Tofurkeys roamed the earth, meatlessness was already a thing. Back in the 40s, Worthington Foods was there leading the way with vegetarian comestibles, ironic quotation marks and horrible product names indicative of the era. Let’s examine several of them! Continue reading