Bros before hoes.
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Tag Archives: advertising
There’s always room for Maxfield Parrish
You say “yip like a terrier” like it’s a bad thing.
Moments later, they were trampled by the herd.
Diork
After seeing a Dior Sauvage commercial, I have learned that Johnny Depp has no clue how to use a shovel.
“lickin’ and larnin’”
Abraham Lincoln
his hand and pen.
he will be good but
god knows When
Historical note: The poem in the ad is a Lincoln original written in his math book when he was in his teens. Would you like to know more?
A bit of Inkograph history can be found here.
(I’m assuming that the “lickin’” has something to do with old-timey writing instruments to get the ink flowing, but I could be wrong. Also, I’m trying to keep things clean.)
Continue readingChicks dig it.
Odds and ends:
A portière (mentioned at the bottom of the ad) is a hanging curtain placed over a door or doorway. I am not sure if a beaded curtain officially qualifies as a portière, but why not, eh?
Online, I found a couple of variations of the Lewando’s mother cat delicately and lovingly hanging the chicks up to dry, and when in color, each of the clothespinned chicks is a different color. Probably because of their dyeing services, but maybe just because it’s cute. Dye hard.
“Cleansing” sounds much more elegant and thorough than “cleaning”. You can probably charge more for it.
Sometimes Lewando’s has an apostrophe, and sometimes Lewandos doesn’t have an apostrophe. Lewando does what Lewando wants.
Continue reading“Your time has expired, leave.”
Armour Hot Dogs Jingle 2019
♬ Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs.
What kind of kids eat Armour hot dogs?
Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks,
Tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox,
But not kids with measles,
Because thanks to their anti-vax parents,
They are now dead and can no longer
Love hot dogs, Armour hot dogs.
The dogs kids love to bite!
Everyone would be in love with me.
The kid who sings about wishing to be an Oscar Mayer wiener suffers from childhood deprivation, acting out in desperation to fill the void that cannot be filled. He will soon be consumed by his own emotional hunger, forever longing like a withered gas station roller dog.