Tag Archives: health

Wise up. Mask up.

Wise up. Mask up.
A PSA for y’all.

Funtness?

A 1969 double truck magazine ad for GW Energy, err, GW Sugar
A 1969 double truck magazine ad for GW Energy, err, GW Sugar

Wanna lose weight and get in great shape! Eat a shitload of sugar!

On second thought, don’t do dat.

Fun facts:

In the Middle Ages, rich and royal people would commission giant sugar sculptures called subtleties.

Artist Kara Walker confected us a modern one and called it “A Subtlety“.

Want more sugar trivia? Here ya go. Want ever more. Ok, but pace yourself.

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Rebranding the Virus

I imagine the guys who refuse to wear masks are the same guys who refuse to wear condoms.

Perhaps we should rebrand COVID-19 as Air AIDS.

Earlier, I considered rebranding COVID-19 as Death Breath, but that sounds like something that could be cured with a mint.

And originally, I thought we could change the Coronavirus’ name to Lung Gonorrhea, because Gonorrhea is one of the most awful-sounding words out there, but then I remembered that lung cancer is a very real thing but that doesn’t stop smokers from smoking. Until it does.

This is Sean. Don’t cramp Sean’s style.

1974 magazine ad for Midol.
1974 magazine ad for Midol. 

Fun facts: Midol was originally advertised as a headache, neuralgia and toothache remedy, then later as a cure for hiccups. After that, it headed south.

An anti-spasmodic (antispasmodic these days) drug suppress muscle spasms. Hello, IBS!

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The Snow Job

Ad for Thin Gillettes (I forgot to mark the date.)
Ad for Thin Gillettes (I forgot to mark the date.)

The railroad version of a rotary plow is pretty badass. Imagine shaving with that puppy.
See one in action on Donner Pass.
Yep, that Donner.

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“No longer are pitiful little misshapen, ricket-twisted bodies excusable.”

Rawleigh's Cod Liver Oil
Found in Rawleigh’s 1932 Good Health Guide, Cook Book and Year Book.
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Alternative Juice — A good part of this Kellyanne Conway breakfast.

(Note: It’s actually “alterative juice”, but I’m sticking with alternative juice because it amuses me.)

If you got syphilis, yo, this’ll solve it.
Alternative juice will prolly dissolve it.

Succus Alterans Alternative Juice
Seen at a North Star Auction preview in Bismarck, North Dakota. Alas, I did not win it the next day.

Let’s check out these Succus Alterans Alternative Juice ingredients! According to Wikipedia…

Stillingia sylvatica was used by Native Americans for syphilis and as a cathartic, diuretic, laxative, and emetic. In large doses, it causes vomiting and diarrhea.”

Smilax ornata (sarsparilla) “was a popular European treatment for syphilis when it was introduced from the New World.”

Phytolacca Decandra (pokeweed) is poisonous and was used for skin diseases, rheumatism, weight loss, mumps and arthritis.

Lappa Minor’s (lesser durdock) larger cousin, Arctium lappa, was used as “a diuretic, diaphoretic, and a blood purifying agent” as well as a cancer, skin condition and cold/flu treatment.

Xanthoxylum carolinanium (Hercules’ club) is also known as the “toothache tree” or “tingle tongue” and was used to treat toothache.

Who needs orange juice with a delightful concoction like this!

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Make Asbestos Great Again

The late-1940s Marshall-Wells Company had you covered for all your asbestos needs.

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Get a grippe.

Thanks to this display at an auction, I now know that influenza/flu used to be known as the grippe.

For Constipation and Biliousness

I am pleased to say I went home with the true jewel of the auction.