Tag Archives: coronavirus

Wise up. Mask up.

Wise up. Mask up.
A PSA for y’all.

Rebranding the Virus

I imagine the guys who refuse to wear masks are the same guys who refuse to wear condoms.

Perhaps we should rebrand COVID-19 as Air AIDS.

Earlier, I considered rebranding COVID-19 as Death Breath, but that sounds like something that could be cured with a mint.

And originally, I thought we could change the Coronavirus’ name to Lung Gonorrhea, because Gonorrhea is one of the most awful-sounding words out there, but then I remembered that lung cancer is a very real thing but that doesn’t stop smokers from smoking. Until it does.

(Apologies to the Beastie Boys)

Stuck at home because the
VIRUS

Barely clothed like Miley
CYRUS

Non-essential stores are
CLOSIN’

Cats are fed and now they’re
DOZIN’

How much longer will this
GO

I’m bad at playin’ domi-
NOS

Lookin’ for a mask, N-Ninety-
FIVE

Get in the car alone and
DRIVE

Give a high
FIVE
You’re still
ALIVE

Oh shit we gotta sani-
TIZE

Trump has pillaged, Trump has
PLUNDERED

But that’s ok cuz you get twelve
HUNDRED