Tag Archives: advertising

My constipation worries are over!

From an ad in a 1959 Cosmopolitan magazine. Horseback riding has many benefits.

♬ Standin’ on your mama’s porch,
You told me that you’d wait forever.
Oh, and when you held my hand,
My constipation worries are over!
Those were the best days of my life.
Oh, yeah.
Back in the summer of ’59, oh.

— If Bryan Adams has written about a decade earlier

“It’s like trying to swallow a mouthful of thumbtacks.”*

Black Velvet Blended Canadian Whisky ad from a 1974 magazine.

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Go, Spud, go!

Partial ad from a vintage mag that got me to thinking I should start collecting some of these things.

Say hello to Spud, America’s first menthol cigarette brand.

And no, this name was not focus group tested.

Read its lovely history here.

Thanks to an all-too-familiar sensation, Hank realized he sat in fresh cow flop.

1974 Marlboro Magazine Ad

You’d think the smell would’ve given it away, but he’s a smoker so, well, you know.

Why? Because the neighborhood’s gone to hell since Santa showed up, that’s why.

Jews for Jesus 1984 magazine ad

This headline would have benefitted from a comma.

Keep the Y’shua in Y’shuamas, y’all, or the giant hand of God will grab and smite thee. Continue reading

The art director must’ve fallen asleep before kerning this ad.

Spotify-placed ad for Serta mattresses

The kerning (or lack thereof) of this Serta ad has left me tossing and turning.

And twitching.

Blowing Smoke

For those of you who still believe that corporations always have the best interests of Americans in mind, here’s a nice little something from 1984.

(cough) (cough) Bullshit! (cough) (cough)

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You know how a prisoner is offered a final cigarette before being executed by firing squad?…

1974 magazine ad for Old Gold

Eek.

Toitoitoi

Time to learn a little German — a German cat food (I hope) magazine ad from the 60s.

Toitoitoi — You’re going to like this word.

It’s not just a job, it’s an (cough cough) adventure.

1943 magazine ad for Chesterfield cigarettes

What’s going on here with the Commodore lurking behind the Lieutenant? Is he her friend? Her mentor? her dad? Her lover? Her fashion consultant? A creep? A ghost? A German spy? CURIOUS MINDS WANT TO KNOW! Continue reading