Tag Archives: cologne

Who’s Your Daddy?

Old Spice After Shave and Cologne ad from 1969.
from the May 16, 1969 issue of Life magazine

Is this official Spice Girls canon?

Continue reading

Diork

After seeing a Dior Sauvage commercial, I have learned that Johnny Depp has no clue how to use a shovel.‬

Do you even backgammon, brio… err… I mean, bro?

1974 magazine ad for Roman Brio

Think about it — This ad’s style is ripe for parody.

I’m a narcissist…
so make it all about me.
Everybody’s doing smack…
And I’m willing to shoot some up,
but cocaine’s my bag.
I don’t eat bananas because potassium is cool.
I buy them because they look like bright yellow penises.

Trivia: “Brio” appears to be Italian for “vivacity”, which isn’t exactly the manliest of words. Continue reading

I feel pretty. Oh so pretty.

1974 magazine ad for Yardley

I wonder what sort of magnificently manly scent this stuff had…
Eau de dumpster full of sweaty jock straps?
Crusty sock and whisky barf?
Burning chest hair?
Lumberjack taint scrapings? Continue reading