From an ad in a 1959 Cosmopolitan magazine. Horseback riding has many benefits.
♬ Standin’ on your mama’s porch,
You told me that you’d wait forever.
Oh, and when you held my hand,
My constipation worries are over!
Those were the best days of my life.
Oh, yeah.
Back in the summer of ’59, oh.
— If Bryan Adams has written about a decade earlier
Partial ad from a vintage mag that got me to thinking I should start collecting some of these things.
Say hello to Spud, America’s first menthol cigarette brand.
And no, this name was not focus group tested.
Read its lovely history here.
1974 Marlboro Magazine Ad
You’d think the smell would’ve given it away, but he’s a smoker so, well, you know.
1943 magazine ad for Chesterfield cigarettes
What’s going on here with the Commodore lurking behind the Lieutenant? Is he her friend? Her mentor? her dad? Her lover? Her fashion consultant? A creep? A ghost? A German spy? CURIOUS MINDS WANT TO KNOW! Continue reading
1974 magazine ad for Roman Brio
Think about it — This ad’s style is ripe for parody.
I’m a narcissist…
so make it all about me.
Everybody’s doing smack…
And I’m willing to shoot some up,
but cocaine’s my bag.
I don’t eat bananas because potassium is cool.
I buy them because they look like bright yellow penises.
Trivia: “Brio” appears to be Italian for “vivacity”, which isn’t exactly the manliest of words. Continue reading
1974 magazine ad for Maverick Jeans & Sportswear
I have many questions about these three, but I’d rather not get them answered. Continue reading
Uncle George likes his meat solid.
Hormel’s SPAM is infamously “spiced ham”.
Armour’s Treet is a “spiced luncheon loaf”.
Wilson & Co.’s MOR was described as “no bone”, “no gristle” and “solid”. Can’t imagine why they’re not still around. Continue reading
1943 magazine ad for General Mills Cheerioats (later Cheerios)
General Mills’ Cheerioats was invented in 1941. It didn’t long for Quaker Oats to gripe about the name and threaten legal action, so Cheerioats became Cheerios in 1945. Good thing, because autocorrect hates hates hates “Cheerioats”. Continue reading
1974 magazine ad for Vitalis Dry 3
Vitalis Dry 3 is sold in a can that looks like a robot’s penis, but leaves you softer and not as stiff. I’m getting mixed messages here. Continue reading
