The Truest North Dakotan of Them All Featured in VW Beetle Print Ad from 1969

After years and years of research, I have finally found the one person who best epitomizes North Dakotans for the outside world.

It’s not Lawrence Welk, Josh Duhamel (Sorry, ladies.), Shadoe Stevens, Leslie Bibb (Call me!) or Angie Dickinson. Rather, it’s Father Aloysius Bittman of Mandaree, North Dakota, who was featured in a 1969 print ad for Volkswagen.

Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

Ad of Yore: Volkswagen print advertisement from a 1969 Look magazine

Ad of Yore: Volkswagen print advertisement from a 1969 Look magazine

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Bottom 12 Failed Guy Fieri Catchphrases

Bottom 12 Failed Guy Fieri Catchphrases

12. “Well, lick my scab!”

11. “Holy E. Coli!”

10. “That’ll frost the pubes!”

9. “Well, grill my gonads!”

8. “That’ll strangle the hooker!”

7. “This is out of butts!”

6. “F*ck the front door!”

5. “Well, butter my butt plug!”

4. “This is gangbangin’!”

3. “Off the nipple!”

2. “That’s tampon!”

1. “Twist off my taint and call me a marsupial!”

Now you too can perspire with the slightest exertion!

Ad of Yore: Print advertisement from a 1973 Charlton comic book

Ad of Yore: Print advertisement from a 1973 Charlton comic book

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“I’m the most wanted girl in town… thanks to Stenotype”

Ad of Yore: LaSalle Extension University print advertisement from a 1973 Charlton comic book

Ad of Yore: La Salle Extension University print advertisement from a 1973 Charlton comic book

(The copywriting in this ad is exceptional.) Continue reading

White Serial Killer Finally Caught After 50 Years

doughboy70

The nation breathed a collective sigh of relief today as the Pillsbury Doughboy was finally caught, ending his horrific Poppin’ Fresh killing spree.

Ideal for decorating all your things with meaning.

Wow!

Ad of Yore: Print advertisement from a 1973 Charlton comic book
______________

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Great Moments in Direct Mail

Ahhhhh… That awkward moment when the U.S. Postal Service mails you a booklet of great direct mail printing ideas and it arrives damaged.

USPS Direct Mail Piece

Overheard at American Eagle Outfitters HQ

“Intern Jenkins!”

“Yessir!”

“Black out our logos in the shoes we sold to TJ Maxx!”

“Yessir!”

“No one must ever know!”

“Yessir!”

“Protect our brand!”

“Yessir!”

aeshoe

20 Righteous Republican Jokes for Republicans Who Think Republican Things Republicanly

1.
Q: Why do Trolls live under bridges?
A: Obama.
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Danimals — The Tenth Circle of Advertising Hell

Actual transcript from a Danimals commercial:

Girl: “What’s with the cool music?”
Boy: “We’ve been squeezefaced!”
Girl: “Squeezefaced?”
Boy: “From the deliciousness of Danimals Squeezables! Wanna get your squeeze on?”
Girl: “Bring it on!”
Boy: “Whoa! Cool!”
Girl: “It’s so good!”
Boy: “This is awesome!”
Boy: “Double squeezeface!
Girl: “Look!”
Boy: “Whoa!”
Girl: “Wanna try one?”
Principal: “Wow!”
Boy and Girl: “School rocks!”
Girl: “New Danimals Squeezables!”
Boy: “Squeeze more fun into lunch!”

When I’m feeling sad, I simply remember that I don’t work on the Dannon Danimals account and then I don’t feel so bad.