I had another Kinko’s dream this morning.

I was working the night shift at Kinko’s Copy Center (now FedEx Office) in Grand Forks, North Dakota and a lady came in wanting 54 half-page invites printed on Orbit Orange (I think that was “1A” in Kinko’s code) for a sauerkraut-themed party.

Sure thing, so I took her original at the counter and went back to the copiers and found out that management had switched to that stupid Just In Time inventory management system and there wasn’t enough Orbit Orange paper on the shelf and it was the night shift so I couldn’t order any in time anyway so I’m franticly digging through the back of the store looking for more Orbit Orange paper but I can’t find any.

So, since it’s a sauerkraut-themed party, I suggest maybe printing it on a cream-colored paper since that would be closer in color to sauerkraut, and she’s very kind and agrees but I can tell she’s disappointed.

So I go back to print her invites on cream-colored paper and then I can’t find her original invite to make copies from. So I’m digging all around and the store starts to get busy with more customers coming in but I’m going to find that damned invite. That lady is extremely patient.

So I finally find that original invite and it’s on a work table and just under the tabletop is a shelf that’s out of sight from the counter with a compartment full of heavier-weight Orbit Orange cardstock. Duh! These are 5.5”x8.5” invites so of course they should be copied on cardstock and I have enough to make them in Orbit Orange! She’ll be so happy!

But just as I go to grab the stack of Orbit Orange cardstock, I see that it’s all gone except for a single sheet and the morning person (Hi, Lynn!) who came to replace me had taken and used it for another project that just came in and then I woke up to a text message alert sound and I realized I had slept through five alarms and now I’m totally exhausted.

Introducing Cascade’s most powerful dishwasher detergent ever!

I was at Cascade’s website trying to figure out the difference between Cascade Platinum and Cascade Complete and didn’t see the “Of Clorox” in the list under “Cascade With The Power” and I would totally buy Cascade With The Power instead of Cascade Platinum or Cascade Complete.

Cascade With The Power

Let’s make this happen, people!

Merry Holidays and Happy Christmas, y’all!

Collier’s magazine — December 13, 1952

Image: Scan of one of my latest vintage mag acquisitions. Cover illustration by C. William Randall.

Claus for Alarm

1949 “Travel Refreshed” Coca-Cola / Coke Santa Claus / Sprite Boy Ad

I have several questions.

Does Coke taste even better if you tilt the bottle up that high as you’re drinking it?

Did Santa pound that bottle cap into the Coca-Cola’s Sprite Boy’s forehead?

Does it mind control, lobotomize or zombify poor Sprite Boy?

Was Sprite Boy a naughty boy and this is his punishment?

If sprites are tiny, just how tiny are those tiny reindeer?

Seriously, that bottle cap looks like it hurts. Just look at his eyes.

Trivia: Coca-Cola didn’t introduce Sprite until 1961, which makes Sprite Boy pre-Sprite.

I’m sure it all made sense at the time.

Santa Claus was born in a barn, apparently.

1947 Coca-Cola / Coke Santa Claus Christmas Ad

Close that damned fridge door, Santa! We’re not made of money! Continue reading

Christmas at Bernie’s

1944 Coca-Cola / Coke Christmas ad

I wonder how long it took them to realize that the father in this 1944 Coca-Cola Christmas ad was dead?

He’s pining.

Continue reading

Shirking Boredom with Airplane Safety Instruction Cards

floating

On the last leg of my flight from Seattle to Bismarck, I went looking for a diversion.

This is what happened. Continue reading

Ten Least Popular Flavors of Jell-O

Parsnip Delight

Bologna

Viking Longship

Pigeon Squeezings

Green

Burning Tire

Musk

February Jack-o’-Lantern

Touch of Bleach

Gladys

Strike a pose.

Vogue magazine, April 1, 1950, and it’s mine!

Sometimes the cover of vintage magazine catches my eye more than others and I end up digging around to learn more about it. This was one of those times, especially since this particular Vogue magazine from April 1, 1950, wasn’t listed in the lot I won on eBay and received a few weeks ago. I’m not complaining, as another copy of this issue recently sold on eBay for $249.

The cover photo of “Queen of Fashion Inc.” Jean Patchett is by Irving Penn and was the first black and white Vogue cover since they started using color in 1909. The black lipstick Patchett wore was MacGyver’d from mascara to maximize the contrast. Penn was rather prolific and prodigious for Vogue, shooting 165 covers between 1943 and 2009.

Additional trivia: A 17”x15” signed print of this Irving Penn photograph sold for $481,000 at a 2008 Christie’s auction.

Damn, I have good and expensive taste!

Would you like to know more?

In Vogue: From Penn to Leibovitz, Seven New Exhibitions Spotlight Our Photographers and Their Work

As “Irving Penn: The Centennial” Opens at the Met, We Consider the Photographer’s Vogue Career

Christie’s — Photographs — 11 April 2008, New York — Lot 343

Jean was “a young American Goddess of Paris Couture”.

Inceptional!

Whisper the Wonder Puss achieves the legendary Cat in a Box in a Box in a Box in a Box position.

So many boxes, so little time.