At the Bismarck, North Dakota, Target store, Tuesday, March 3, 2020.
I have a theory that the only reason Red (strong) Charmin exists is to take valuable shelf space away from other brands so that people buy more Blue (soft) Charmin.
What we need is Plaid Charmin, bringing soft and strong back into one toilet paper. And as a bonus, the Plaid Charmin Poopbears would be friggin’ adorable.
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(Note: It’s actually “alterative juice”, but I’m sticking with alternative juice because it amuses me.)
If you got syphilis, yo, this’ll solve it. Alternative juice will prolly dissolve it.
Seen at a North Star Auction preview in Bismarck, North Dakota. Alas, I did not win it the next day.
Let’s check out these Succus Alterans Alternative Juice ingredients! According to Wikipedia…
“Stillingia sylvatica was used by Native Americans for syphilis and as a cathartic, diuretic, laxative, and emetic. In large doses, it causes vomiting and diarrhea.”
Smilax ornata (sarsparilla) “was a popular European treatment for syphilis when it was introduced from the New World.”
Phytolacca Decandra (pokeweed) is poisonous and was used for skin diseases, rheumatism, weight loss, mumps and arthritis.
Lappa Minor’s (lesser durdock) larger cousin, Arctium lappa, was used as “a diuretic, diaphoretic, and a blood purifying agent” as well as a cancer, skin condition and cold/flu treatment.
Xanthoxylum carolinanium (Hercules’ club) is also known as the “toothache tree” or “tingle tongue” and was used to treat toothache.
Who needs orange juice with a delightful concoction like this!
I saw this floor display for Mission Athletic Care in our local Lowe’s Home Improvement store and I can’t decide if this assembled quirk is a design fail or design win.
Eye caramba!
Let’s call it a fawin.
Sometimes my contact lenses feel like this.
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Heinzsight. I love it when somebody takes a brand and puts more into it than they have to. In this case, Heinz did some sweet seasonal ketchup bottle labels — They didn’t have to, but they did, and that made it better. Brand personality, yo.
Groovy work, Heinz. I hope you do something like this again soon.
NOTE: I was told there was also a summer beachball tomato label, but alas, I was not in time.
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This is thinking outside the box in the truest sense! Big props to the creative and practical minds behind Puma’s Clever Little Bag, using 65% less paper than regular shoeboxes. Plus, a reusable bag. Clever indeed.
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