Tag Archives: branding

“Well, that sucked.” — The Other Side of Branding

It’s happened to most of us at least once.

You’re at home watching television or some of your favorite skateboarding ferret videos on YouTube when a commercial comes on. It’s a pretty good commercial. It gets your attention and, after watching it, you form a positive opinion of the product and/or service it was advertising. In this instance, let’s say the ad was for a restaurant chain. The staff was friendly, the food looked great, the atmosphere seemed inviting and everybody seemed to be having a great time.

Hooray! The advertisement has worked and thanks to you forming an opinion, you are now part of the glorious branding experience. Continue reading

Looks like Mountain Dew broke Advertising Rule 3,657

Advertising Rule 3,657: Unless your product is a vaginal irrigation device, make sure your product’s name doesn’t have “douche” in it when spoken.


Mountain Dew’s Dewshine

When Poets Sell Out — 7 Shameless Examples of Product Placement in Poetry

There are more than a few people who bemoan the proliferation of product placement in today’s entertainment world, but unbeknownst to them, this is not a recent phenomenon. For centuries now, highly respected poets have turned themselves into blemished bards by skillfully plopping a brand into their work in exchange for a bit of money (or a decent bottle of absinthe). After a bit of research, I have found seven blatant examples of this foul practice that you might not have noticed back in English Lit class. Continue reading

Branding Nabisco a Little Bit Better

“Triscuit minis”

Tsk tsk tsk… Your product extension naming has gotten a little uninspired, Nabisco!

You did pretty good with Ritz Bits and Nutter Butter Bites, but with Mini Oreo, Mini Nilla Wafers, Mini Chips Ahoy! and now Triscuit minis, you guys are just phoning it in.

C’mon! We can do better! Let’s get out of the rut and do some real branding!

Let’s start with a few names the focus groups will absolutely hate, because that’s always fun to do and helps get it out of their systems…

Trisquarters

Lilliputriscuits

Fourthscuits

Runtriscuits

Diminuitriscuits

Shrimpscuits

Midgscuits

Shrunkscuits

And now several that might fare a little bit better…

Triscuit Petites

Triscuits for Dolls / Gnomes / Elves / Dwarves / Borrowers / etc.

Triscuit Bitscuits

Triscuit Runts (Whoops. Don’t wanna piss off Wonka. How about…)

Runty Triscuits

Now let’s try some consumer-friendly, mind-stickin’ alliteration and consonance…

Tiny Triscuits

Teeny Triscuits

Little Triscuits

And my personal favorites…

Triscuit Little Bits

Teensy-Weensy Triscuits

Teeny-Weeny Triscuits

Itty-Bitty Triscuits

While we’re at it, here’s a bonus suggestion for an umbrella brand name for your entire miniature product line…

NanoNabisco

You’re welcome. Now send me some money and move some units!

Love,
Clay

The best brands aren’t afraid to wink at you.

Little touches can have a big impact.

Photo is of the spiffy back flap of a Mezzetta envelope sent to me after an email correspondence regarding their discontinued Olives in Habanero Hot Sauce — a jar of fiery and unfathomable deliciousness that I hope and pray they will one day dis-discontinue.

I’m currently going through a case of shingles* and Mezzetta made me smile. Not a small feat.

*the medical condition, not the roofing material

The SMEAT smell of success.

The holy grail of fictitious Hollywood food products is now in my possession.

SMEAT!

Life is good. And rather high in sodium.
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SMEAT still needs a good tagline, though. One that can crush “Break The Monotony” for Hormel’s SPAM.

Have a SMEAT.

Tastes like feet. SMEAT.

You can’t beat the SMEAT!

It’s so SMEATy!

Just SMEAT it.

SMEAT yourself right.

It’s not meat; it’s SMEAT!

Enjoy the SMEAT life.

Heat. Eat. SMEAT.

SMEAT me!

Got a better one? Send it in a comment below.

Outsmarted by Smart Car

(Some brands play better in the social media playground than others, part 2)

There I was on Twitter, not minding my own business, when along came a response to one of my tweets that not only made my day, but made me rethink my perception of the Smart brand. Plus, they threw in a handy infographic for free. INFOGRAPHANTASTIC!

Great job with your social media, Smart USA. I don’t mind being outsmarted by the likes of you.

Now if you’ll just FedEx me one of your fine automobiles, I’ll love you forever.

Best. Social media response. Ever.

Personal branding – a Clayton Hove column

Nothing deters a cattle rustler quite like a well-branded herd, and with today’s technological advances in freeze and electrical branding, along with traditional fire branding, your ranch can sleep easy knowing that your livestock investment is safe and…

Ah. I’ve just been informed that this column was to be about the other type of personal branding. Sorry about that. I’ll try again.
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Continue reading