Category Archives: mascots!

Is that an unlimited data plan in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Oh. No pockets.

It’s almost as if Cricket Wireless is encouraging the Internet to add penises to their characters.

Dangling the opportunity right in front of us, so to speak.

If Concrete Blonde’s Johnette Napolitano had dated the Pillsbury Doughboy

If Concrete Blonde’s Johnette Napolitano had dated the Pillsbury Doughboy

I’m so very sorry.

Limited Edition Trump Tic Tac — Grab ’em today!

Trump Orange Tic Tac

It’s gonna be yuge.

An Open Letter from Chester Cheetah

Dear America,  Please stop referring to Donald Trump as a “Cheeto”.  Cheetos are a deliciously cheesy snack.  Donald Trump is a dangerous, narcissistic and delusional sociopath.  I hope that clears things up.  Thank you.  Sincerely, Chester Cheetah

White Serial Killer Finally Caught After 50 Years

doughboy70

The nation breathed a collective sigh of relief today as the Pillsbury Doughboy was finally caught, ending his horrific Poppin’ Fresh killing spree.

Why cattle shouldn’t smoke.

Look out, cool and rebellious cow!

“Reports of my erectile dysfunction have been greatly exaggerated.” — Sir James Dyson

Not quite Mr. Clean.

Well, SOMEONE has to clean up all those damned grease splatters from the George Foreman Grill!

I’m the Hostess with the mostest, bitches!

It is generally agreed upon that Hostess’s Captain Cupcake is the Big Gay Al of advertising mascots.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Every so often, designers are allowed to do something right.

Mickey Mouse Band-Aid bandages.