Category Archives: what the…!?

A special message from Ernie “The Gurney” Keeber

Ernie "The Gurney" Keebler

After a full day of ritualistically bludgeoning hookers to death, relax with a handful of delicious Keebler Town House Flatbread Crisps!

You can’t lick this stamp collection (because someone else already did).

On January 2nd, 2016, I won an eBay auction for a lot of nine comic books from the late-60s and early-70s. Along with my winning bid price, I paid an additional five bucks for economy shipping.

When I received an eBay alert that they had shipped, I noticed that it didn’t include a tracking number, which is kind of unusual these days. Then when I received the package on January 7th, I found out why.


This dude didn’t just go old school, he went old-old school, meeting the $3.22 in postage with stamps. And I’m not talking Ingrid Bergman and Charlie Brown forever stamps from 2015; at least one of the stamps he used is over a century old. Incredible and crazy cool.

It was time to give my Google-Fu a workout, and the following is what I discovered. Continue reading

Two things I learned from the cover of a Planters mixed nuts holiday gift tin.

1. Mr. Peanut likes to go sledding in the shells of his slain enemies.

2. Mr. Peanut’s personal assistant has some serious arm and leg issues.

The origin of the Obliterating Foot from Monty Python’s Flying Circus

“I guess it’s because the big toe sticks up.”
— Terry Gilliam, explaining his choice for Monty Python’s animated Obliterating Foot.


Animation frame from the opening titles to Monty Python’s Flying Circus


The foot originally belonged to Cupid in Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time, a painting from the 1500s by Agnolo Bronzino.


Detail from Agnolo Bronzino’s Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time

Source: Jones, Jerene (1981, December 21). The Only Yank in Monty Python Stares Down Critics as His Time Bandits Steals $24 Million. People magazine, Vol. 16, No. 25.

Flipped Off By Five

I’m not quite sure why the number five in this Cartoon Network promo is flipping me off.

Same to you, five!

It was a strange day for children’s television.

“And that’s one to flow on.”

While renewing my free subscription for a business publication by “answering a few simple questions”…

A Throwback Thursday Special Edition from my alter-ego days: Fervor Sauce!

Look, Ma! I made the cover!

Continue reading

What if the monster truck rally radio commercial voiceover guy normally talks like that?

At a Starbucks:
“VENTI VENTI VENTI!!!”

Buying a toilet at Lowe’s:
“WHY DO I HAVE TO BUY THE WHOLE SEAT IF I ONLY NEED THE EDGE!?!?”

At the ballet:
“YOU CALL THAT A PIROUETTE!?!?”

Deer hunting with his pals:
“IT MUST HAVE SMELLED US!!!”

At a funeral:
“SHE’S IN A BETTER PLACE NOW!!!”

At a ski resort:
“AVALANCHE!!! ANOTHER AVALANCHE!!!”

Discussing the weather:
“IT’S NOT THE HEAT!!! IT’S THE HUMIDITY!!!”

In the kitchen:
“MY SOUFFLÉ!!!”

At the proctologist:
“MY BOWELS ARE ALREADY SHAKING!!!”

In space:
“………………..!!!”

At a public library:
“I HAVE AS MUCH RIGHT TO BE IN HERE AS EVERYBODY ELSE!!!”

Calling the family cat in at night:
“MISTER WHISKERS!!! MISTER WHISKERS!!! HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY!!!”

Checking on his children at midnight:
“ARE YOU ASLEEP!?!?”

North Dakota