Category Archives: totally off topic

Peas Release Me

Some peas and a knife.

I tend to take photos of some of the things I eat, because I’m ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. Stuck at home during the pandemic, I’ve been going through my freezer and pantry looking for forgotten food. A bag of frozen peas became a quick lunch, and vaguely remembering an old cartoon (Was it Goofy?), I placed a knife next to the bowl.

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Bram Stoker’s North Dakota

“Renfield, vut in the vurld is going on out there, blah?”

Management heard him say “Work is hell.” one too many times.

Dante

The last of the video rental stores.

Video Action in Bismarck, North Dakota

Be kind. Rewind.

The shirts off our backs.

July 22, 2018 — The Final Days of Herberger’s (Bon-Ton) in Bismarck, North Dakota

A Music Memory

I remember the music section of Osco Drug in Kirkwood Mall back when I was a kid. All the audio cassettes were in a sealed wall on one side of an aisle, and the wall of cassettes were covered by a giant plexiglass cover with a bunch of round holes in it. Additionally, each cassette was in an extra security case. You could look through the plexiglass/holes and look at all the cassette spines for a cassette you wanted, then reach in through one of the holes and pull it out of the wall. The holes were big enough for your hand to go in, but not big enough to pull your hand out along with the cassette in its security case. So what you had to do was drop the cassette to the bottom (often cracking the cover), where there was a narrow conveyor belt between the wall and plexiglass. Then you had to get an employee to come over and activate the conveyor belt to move the cassette to the side where the employee could access it, remove the security case and then sell the cassette to you.

Some people get nostalgic for the past, but that was pretty effed up.

I had another Kinko’s dream this morning.

I was working the night shift at Kinko’s Copy Center (now FedEx Office) in Grand Forks, North Dakota and a lady came in wanting 54 half-page invites printed on Orbit Orange (I think that was “1A” in Kinko’s code) for a sauerkraut-themed party.

Sure thing, so I took her original at the counter and went back to the copiers and found out that management had switched to that stupid Just In Time inventory management system and there wasn’t enough Orbit Orange paper on the shelf and it was the night shift so I couldn’t order any in time anyway so I’m franticly digging through the back of the store looking for more Orbit Orange paper but I can’t find any.

So, since it’s a sauerkraut-themed party, I suggest maybe printing it on a cream-colored paper since that would be closer in color to sauerkraut, and she’s very kind and agrees but I can tell she’s disappointed.

So I go back to print her invites on cream-colored paper and then I can’t find her original invite to make copies from. So I’m digging all around and the store starts to get busy with more customers coming in but I’m going to find that damned invite. That lady is extremely patient.

So I finally find that original invite and it’s on a work table and just under the tabletop is a shelf that’s out of sight from the counter with a compartment full of heavier-weight Orbit Orange cardstock. Duh! These are 5.5”x8.5” invites so of course they should be copied on cardstock and I have enough to make them in Orbit Orange! She’ll be so happy!

But just as I go to grab the stack of Orbit Orange cardstock, I see that it’s all gone except for a single sheet and the morning person (Hi, Lynn!) who came to replace me had taken and used it for another project that just came in and then I woke up to a text message alert sound and I realized I had slept through five alarms and now I’m totally exhausted.

Poor Little Turtle Children

slow turtle child

It horrifies and sickens me that some parents would publicly shame their underperforming children like this.

You best mend your ways, Hot Liquid, or it’ll lead to a life of ruin!

Caution Hot Liquid!

Pokémon or questionable genital nickname?

magikarp62480

Bulbasaur
Charmander
Weedle
Beedrill
Pidgey
Spearow
Vulpix
Jigglypuff
Oddish
Mankey
Poliwag
Machop
Bellsprout
Tentacruel
Graveler
Slowpoke
Dewgong
Grimer
Cloyster
Gastly
Krabby
Cubone
Lickitung
Rhyhorn
Horsea
Electabuzz
Pinsir
Ninetales
Gyarados
Flareon
Snorlax
Squirtle