Category Archives: totally off topic

Beware of Buns of Steel

Behold, the Asshole Lane.

Behold, the Asshole Lane (AKA the Testy Twat Triangle). It is found at the intersection of Main Avenue and 26th Street in Bismarck, North Dakota.

Home of the Asshole Lane

Home of the Asshole Lane

Its origin was probably one of good intentions, or at least an attempt to correct a mistake, but all that has long been forgotten. Continue reading

Bottom 12 Failed Guy Fieri Catchphrases

Bottom 12 Failed Guy Fieri Catchphrases

12. “Well, lick my scab!”

11. “Holy E. Coli!”

10. “That’ll frost the pubes!”

9. “Well, grill my gonads!”

8. “That’ll strangle the hooker!”

7. “This is out of butts!”

6. “F*ck the front door!”

5. “Well, butter my butt plug!”

4. “This is gangbangin’!”

3. “Off the nipple!”

2. “That’s tampon!”

1. “Twist off my taint and call me a marsupial!”

20 Righteous Republican Jokes for Republicans Who Think Republican Things Republicanly

Q: Why do Trolls live under bridges?
A: Obama.
Continue reading

If you thought those Star Wars prequels were bad, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet!

Step right up and don’t be shy, because you will not believe your eyes!

Behold, the carnival-attraction majesty of Space Odyssey 2000!

Space Odyssey 2000 is not to be confused with “2001: A Space Odyssey” — It’s completely different! Totally different! Continue reading

The mall caper goes awry.

“Maybe applying super glue to our suction cups wasn’t such a great idea, Frankie.”

“Shaddap yer mug and keep still and mebbe nobody will spot us, Johnny.”

“But we’ve been stuck here since midnight, Frankie!”

“Shaddap and make like a deer in headlights, Johnny.”

“I really gotta pee, Frankie!”


You can’t lick this stamp collection (because someone else already did).

On January 2nd, 2016, I won an eBay auction for a lot of nine comic books from the late-60s and early-70s. Along with my winning bid price, I paid an additional five bucks for economy shipping.

When I received an eBay alert that they had shipped, I noticed that it didn’t include a tracking number, which is kind of unusual these days. Then when I received the package on January 7th, I found out why.

This dude didn’t just go old school, he went old-old school, meeting the $3.22 in postage with stamps. And I’m not talking Ingrid Bergman and Charlie Brown forever stamps from 2015; at least one of the stamps he used is over a century old. Incredible and crazy cool.

It was time to give my Google-Fu a workout, and the following is what I discovered. Continue reading

The origin of the Obliterating Foot from Monty Python’s Flying Circus

“I guess it’s because the big toe sticks up.”
— Terry Gilliam, explaining his choice for Monty Python’s animated Obliterating Foot.

Animation frame from the opening titles to Monty Python’s Flying Circus

The foot originally belonged to Cupid in Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time, a painting from the 1500s by Agnolo Bronzino.

Detail from Agnolo Bronzino’s Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time

Source: Jones, Jerene (1981, December 21). The Only Yank in Monty Python Stares Down Critics as His Time Bandits Steals $24 Million. People magazine, Vol. 16, No. 25.

Do spin doctors have birthdays? Yes, Virginia, they most certainly do.

In honor of my KK BOLD boss Wayne Kranzler’s birthday today, here’s an animated GIF I made of him back when Netscape Navigator and AltaVista ruled the Internet (1997 or so).

Happy birthday, Wayne!

Good Lord! He must’ve grabbed almost everyone’s on the field!

Dude missed one.