Tag Archives: antique

This took a long time to reach me, but it was worth the wait.

Oh, like a wizard bear never grabbed your ass while you were playing video games in the shopping mall arcade.

Cheeky.
Cheeky.
A 1983 magazine ad for Atari’s Crystal Castles.
A 1983 magazine ad for Atari’s Crystal Castles.

Bone shards:

Bentley Bear makes an appearance in Wreck-It Ralph!

Crystal Castles was a trackball game. And now I’m having Marble Madness flashbacks.

Crystal Castles is now a Canadian band.

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Mexico, the Italy of America

A 1904 magazine ad for Southern Pacific
A 1904 magazine ad for Southern Pacific

Ok, we have a few scenic stops mentioned in this ad, but sadly, no travel brochure. I guess we’ll just have to settle for the Internet.

The Ruins of Mitla

The Catacombs of Guanajuato. Bring your mummy.

The Pyramids of Cholula

The Valley and Hills of Monterey
Hmm… Monterey is in California, but there is an Monterrey in Mexico. Quite lovely.

Ok, not gonna lie… This trip would be amazeballs. That’s a good thing.

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What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs?

I forgot to write down the comic book and year this Lincoln Logs ad came from, but I think it was from an issue of Roy Rogers.
I forgot to write down the comic book and year this Lincoln Logs ad came from, but I think it was from an issue of Roy Rogers.

Bone shards:

Lincoln Logs were invented by John Lloyd Wright, son of architect Frank Lloyd Wright. The first set came with instructions to build 1) Abraham Lincoln’s boyhood home and 2) Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

“Interesting playthings typifying the spirit of America.”

The last five letters in “Playskool” are considered to be a “sensational spelling” of “school. SENSATIONAL SPELLING. It’s a thing.

The Log Song!

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Darn Good

Chesterfield cigarettes magazine ad found in the September 5, 1931 issue of The Literary Digest
Chesterfield cigarettes magazine ad found in the September 5, 1931 issue of The Literary Digest

Bone shards:

Before they were Astaires, Adele and Fred were Austerlitzes.

Adele Astaire was Fred Astaire’s older sister. A year after this ad, she hitched up with Lord Charles Arthur Francis Cavendish, the second son of Victor Cavendish, 9th Duke of Devonshire, and became Lady Charles Cavendish. Also, she was more talented than Fred.

“Can’t Act. Slightly Bald. Also Dances.”
“enormous ears and bad chin line”
— Notes from Fred Astaire‘s RKO screen test

Have you ever seen an actual bandwagon?

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Ready and eager!

This is no time for sidesaddle.
Magazine ad for the 1950 Oldsmobile Rocket 88
Magazine ad for the 1950 Oldsmobile Rocket 88

Bone shards:

Street cred? This car had it.

Oldsmobile’s Rocket engine was kind of a big deal.

The voice of Rocket in the Marvel Guardians of the Galaxy movies is Bradley Cooper.

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Give the devil his Dew.

Magazine ad for Sanderson’s Mountain Dew Scotch circa 1906/1907
Magazine ad for Sanderson’s Mountain Dew Scotch circa 1906/1907

Bone shards:

The version of Mountain Dew that you’re probably more familiar with didn’t come around until 1940. Also, one of its early lines was “It’ll tickle yore innards.”

A version of this is still sold in Cameroon and the Ivory Coast.

A Sanderson’s Mountain Dew promotional knife can be yours for only $139.95.

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But her carbuncles…

A very old ad for Dr. D. Jayne’s Alterative found in a hardcover copy of Charles Addams’ Dear Dead Days collection.
A very old ad for Dr. D. Jayne’s Alterative found in a hardcover copy of Charles Addams’ Dear Dead Days collection.

Bone shards:

Some very interesting words are used to sell this amazing product. My apologies in advance if you are a Victorian hypochondriac. 

Alterative — a drug used empirically to alter favorably the course of an ailment

Deobstruent — having the power to clear or open the natural ducts of the fluids and secretions of the body

Scrofula — a condition in which the bacteria that causes tuberculosis causes symptoms outside the lungs

King’s Evil — (AKA scrofula) a tuberculous swelling of the lymph glands, once popularly supposed to be curable by the touch of royalty

White Swellings – a swelling seen in tuberculous arthritis, esp. of the knee

Scrofulous — refers to scrofula, or figuratively, morally contaminated and corrupt

Indolent — lazy or slothlike, or a problem that causes no pain, or is slow-growing and not immediately problematic

Mercurial — characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood

Neuralgia — a stabbing, burning, and often severe pain due to an irritated or damaged nerve.

Tic-Douloureux — a severe, stabbing pain to one side of the face

Goitre — (you might know this as “goiter”) a swelling of the thyroid gland that causes a lump in the front of the neck

Bronchocele (swelled neck) — impacted mucoid secretions within the bronchial tree

Tetter – any of various skin diseases, such as eczema, psoriasis, or herpes, characterized by eruptions and itching, or possibly ringworm for old-timers

Biles — either something having to do with your bile/liver/gall bladder, or going back even further, either of two bodily humours, one of which (black bile) was thought to cause melancholy and the other (yellow bile) anger  

Carbuncles — a skin infection that often involves a group of hair follicles. The infected material forms a lump, which occurs deep in the skin and often contains pus.

Dyspepsia — indigestion

Dropsical Swellings — (AKA edema or dropsy) swelling caused by fluid retention

Don’t you feel smarter (and a little bit sicker) now?

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When life hands you lemons…

Found in the April, 1973 issue of Vogue magazine
Found in the April, 1973 issue of Vogue magazine

…make a pantsuit! 

Bone shards:

A mini-history of Dalton.

Here’s more than you probably wanted to know about palazzo pants.

Trevire — Finally, a replacement for that dreadful crimplene

Timothy Dalton was the fifth actor to portray James Bond. Or maybe the sixth. Seventh?

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They’re femineered!

International Harvester Refrigerator magazine ad found in a 1951 issue of Tractor Farming
International Harvester Refrigerator magazine ad found in a 1951 issue of Tractor Farming

That’s right. Femineered.

Bone shards:

Monica and Rachel had an International Harvester refrigerator on Friends, and it appears to have made somebody with same fridge a tad grumpy.

The plant where International Harvester made its refrigerators and air conditioners used to build P-47 Thunderbolts.

Wow! You’re strangely excited about refrigeration! Ok, here’s a history. Now settle down.

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