Category Archives: what the…!?

(sniff) They grow up so fast.

One of the more unfortunate examples of North Dakota statuary.

Location: Bismarck’s Paradiso.

Today’s adventure in trade publication advertising copy.

It was interesting reading about Okinawa’s “EXTENSIVE MICE EXPERIENCE”, “COMPREHENSIVE MICE FACILITIES”, “TOURISM AND MICE OPTIONS” and “POST-MICE EVENTS AND ACTIVITIES” before knowing that MICE was a business acronym.

The SMEAT smell of success.

The holy grail of fictitious Hollywood food products is now in my possession.

SMEAT!

Life is good. And rather high in sodium.
____________________

SMEAT still needs a good tagline, though. One that can crush “Break The Monotony” for Hormel’s SPAM.

Have a SMEAT.

Tastes like feet. SMEAT.

You can’t beat the SMEAT!

It’s so SMEATy!

Just SMEAT it.

SMEAT yourself right.

It’s not meat; it’s SMEAT!

Enjoy the SMEAT life.

Heat. Eat. SMEAT.

SMEAT me!

Got a better one? Send it in a comment below.

Twinkie Panic hits Bismarck, North Dakota!

Inside the Sweetheart/Hostess Bakery thrift store in Bismarck, North Dakota on Friday, November 16, 2012. Normally, this aisle would be piled high with boxes of Hostess Twinkies, Zingers, Cupakes, Ho Hos and Ding Dongs.

Everybody panic!

This water tastes awful!

Up next, the Dasani douche.

Subhead Fail of the Month

I’m pretty sure this qualifies as ironic, don’cha think?

Pirate Timesheet Function Codes

01) Lootin’
02) Pillagin’
03) Plunderin’
04) Sackin’
05) Rum Drinkin’
06) Buryin’ Treasure
07) Unburyin’ Treasure
08) Map Makin’
09) Cannon Firin’
10) Blunderbussin’
11) Swordfightin’
12) Cutlass Sharpenin’
13) Sailin’
14) Misc. Fightin’
15) Belayin’
16) Booty Callin’
17) New Business Pursuitin’
18) Plank Walkin’
19) Keelhaulin’
20) Scurvy
21) Riggin’
22) Mizzenmastin’
23) Swabbin’
24) Sea Shanty Singin’
25) Jolly Roger Mendin’
26) Swashbucklin’
27) Linguistics
28) Amputatin’
29) Parrot/Monkey Trainin’
30) Ship Repairin’
31) Barnacle Scrapin’
32) Timber Shiverin’
33) Deck Poopin’
34) Landlubbin’
35) Wenchin’
36) Account Management
37) Arrrrrrrr & Arrrrrrrr

And the 2011 Outdoor Award for most words on a billboard goes to…

Most advertising experts will tell you that because of its medium, location and audience, 5 to 8 words are pretty much the max for an outdoor billboard. Well, these savvy financial advisors decided to buck tradition (and logic and legibility) for a most impressive word count. Congratulations!

My favorite part of the Super Bowl?  When Andie MacDowell started talking to me.

Because jorts weren’t bad enough…

Now I think they’re just jucking with us.