Category Archives: ads of yore

And that’s why Bob in Accounting is no longer allowed to write advertising copy.

As I trudged through this rambling, convoluted bit of century-old writing, I started to hear it in the voice of Mojo Jojo (Roger L. Jackson) from The Powerpuff Girls and it suddenly became much, much better.

Pierce-Arrow Motor Car Company ad found on the back cover of a 1917 Life magazine.

It still doesn’t explain the blacksmith though.

“Umm… Excuse me, but why am I even in this ad?”

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when your child needs an enema…

Fleet Enema ad found in Today’s Health magazine, April 1956


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Challenge accepted.

You'll never yank at a girdle again!

Claus for Alarm

1949 “Travel Refreshed” Coca-Cola / Coke Santa Claus / Sprite Boy Ad

I have several questions.

Does Coke taste even better if you tilt the bottle up that high as you’re drinking it?

Did Santa pound that bottle cap into the Coca-Cola’s Sprite Boy’s forehead?

Does it mind control, lobotomize or zombify poor Sprite Boy?

Was Sprite Boy a naughty boy and this is his punishment?

If sprites are tiny, just how tiny are those tiny reindeer?

Seriously, that bottle cap looks like it hurts. Just look at his eyes.

Trivia: Coca-Cola didn’t introduce Sprite until 1961, which makes Sprite Boy pre-Sprite.

I’m sure it all made sense at the time.

Santa Claus was born in a barn, apparently.

1947 Coca-Cola / Coke Santa Claus Christmas Ad

Close that damned fridge door, Santa! We’re not made of money! Continue reading

Christmas at Bernie’s

1944 Coca-Cola / Coke Christmas ad

I wonder how long it took them to realize that the father in this 1944 Coca-Cola Christmas ad was dead?

He’s pining.

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Smoking is for Squares!

Hey, kitten. There’s a lot going on in this 1964 comic book anti-smoking PSA by DC Comics.

Smoking is for Squares! 1964 DC Comic Book PSA from an issue of Tales of the Unexpected

I’m still not quite sure why Paulette Breen suddenly turns into a 53-year-old truck stop waitress in the fifth panel. Probably from all the pointing. Continue reading

This shit is bananas.

1954-ish magazine ad for United Fruit Company (now Chiquita Brands International) that I found in a box of scraps.

It starts off innocently enough. Vague, nice-sounding, feel-good advice on how to live better and longer. And then… BANANAS! EAT BANANAS! DID WE MENTION BANANAS?

It’s a double-truck ad from United Fruit Company, one of the companies quite literally responsible for bringing the term “Banana Republic” from fiction to the real world.

(Her yellow gloves were a very nice touch.)

So eat lots of bananas, kiddos, or Miss Chiquita will cut ya.

Banana Fun Facts: There is no such thing as a banana tree. Bananas come from a herbaceous flowering plant with a pseudostem often mistaken for a tree trunk.

The tiers of a banana cluster are called hands, and each banana is also known as a finger.

If you hate those gross stringy things you find on a banana after peeling it, then you hate phloem bundles.

Lastly, bananas are naturally radioactive. Yay! Continue reading

Does a Bear Schlitz in the Woods? — Dawn of the Furries

1949 magazine ad for Schlitz Beer that I found in a box of scraps.

Ad Thoughts:

That clown is totally doing the Creepy Stalk & Stare on the bunny, which changes the narrative’s dynamic a tad.

I’m impressed they allowed a one-eyed pirate with depth perception problems to pour the beer and navigate a crowded party.

America needs a matador these days, to kill the bull.

After panel three, does the bear and bunny hump with the costumes on or off? I’m thinking on.

Fun Facts:

In 1902, the Joseph Schlitz Brewing Company was the biggest brewer in America.

Along with the tagline used in this ad, Schlitz later had “”When you’re out of Schlitz, you’re out of beer.” Oh no! I’m out of Schlitz! Continue reading

“Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”

Popular answers: “Do not enter.” “Dead end.” “Stop.”

Sadly rare answer: “Slow children playing.”

1969 magazine ad for Smirnoff vodka. Umm… What’s with the tree? IS IT A SATAN TREE!?

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