Challenge: Spot the two penis references from the following TV commercial screen grab! Whee!

Difficulty Level: Not hard

Do we really want to give Chrysler billions in bailouts when it has dealers like this?
Stay classy, Dodge of Burnsville, you big, thick, engorged & veiny auto dealer you!

Up next: We’ll examine the advertising of Wanker, Wisconsin’s Wiener Winnebago.

It was about time the old gal got her own toy.

Rumor has it that this Taco Bell point-o-purchase display was copied almost exactly from a Heaven’s Gate recruitment poster. Sadly, extensive quick-service restaurant (QSR) research has shown that if you were greeted at the front counter with this level of manic enthusiasm, you’d most likely soil yourself, do a 180° and flee.

Seussian Edition

We’re financial bigwigs — your lender and banker.
The smarties who took the economy and tank’d her.
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Earlier this week, I was getting a sammich at the local Quiznos (which used to be “Quizno’s” - where’d the friggin’ apostrophe go?) when I noticed a prep sign revealing something very curious. Intrigued and more than a little bit horrified, I grabbed my mobile and snapped a wobbly pic of it (their plastic sneeze guard thingie got in my way a bit)…

Spoodle? Spoodle!?

Best as I can figure it, the Spoodle is a hybrid of the German Spitz and French Poodle, a delightful and delicious combination of liveliness, nobility and lean, tender meat.

Now exactly what the heck Spoodles are doing under the guise of “Chicken and Bacon Mix” is anybody’s guess, and why limit it to just the beige ones? Also, shouldn’t they have gone with a less-expensive mix like the Cockapoo to help keep their poor franchise owners’ prices down in today’s economy?

Of course, a Spoodle could also be a sporkian combination of spoon and ladle, but that would just be silly.

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Ever since the pharmaceutical industry succeeded in the dismantling of the pesky FDA, many exciting and new co-branding ventures have proven to be extremely lucrative. For example, Melitta’s Psilocybin Hazelnut Creme With A Touch Of Xanax is now the #2-selling coffee in the United States.

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It was with great sadness that Ad to the Bone headquarters said goodbye to its elephantine, late-70s, piece-of-sh*t, hand-me-down-several-times-over Zenith console television set late last week. Granted, its color capabilities had been diminished to black and blue and white for quite some time, it needed a wedge placed under its right front half to keep the interior wiring connected and the screen from “pooming” down into nothing but a big bright dot in the center, and required an almost-daily Fonzie Thump on its side to properly turn back on, but it was family and we loved it.
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