Oh, the Trumanity!

Some business trade writers are objective and let the readers form their own opinions from the provided information, and then there was Truman A. De Weese.

Excerpted from an article in System – The Magazine of Business, July 1907.

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OOH BSOD

“Blazingly bright and stunning, digital technology is revolutionizing the billboard experience.”

1906? We can probably blame the opium.

Found on the back cover of the June 1906 issue of The American Thresherman

Found on the back cover of the June 1906 issue of The American Thresherman.

Product Not To Scale

The ad copy:
It Fills the Bill
J.L. Case Threshing Machine Co.
Racine, Wis.
USA

“That’s hot.”

A pink or caucasian-toned Paris HIlton Enameled Cast Iron Dutch Oven seen as a ROSS store with anti-theft device and priced at $24.99.

“That’s hot.” — Paris Hilton, forgetting to use her oven mitts again

Best of luck to the marketing team receiving this consumer insight.

Ope, never mind. I cracked it.

The commercial begins with a dolly shot into a grocery store cereal aisle, moving past a stockboy stocking and a young man shopping with a plastic shopping basket. An indistinct easy-listening song is playing in the store. 

A 40-something woman with messy hair and wearing sweatpants and an oversized sweater is checking out cereal box options. She has a half-filled shopping cart with several items in it usually targeting children.

She takes a box of Kellogg’s Special K Red Berries off a shelf and suddenly the lights in the store dim, a disco ball drops, and the music becomes a bit louder and… sexier.

She looks up at the disco ball, then down the aisle to see the stockboy and shopper staring at her, entranced.

Startled, she puts the cereal box back and everything returns to as it was before.

She pauses, then grabs the cereal box back off the shelf. The lights dim, the disco ball drops again, the music now morphs into full boom-chicka-mow-mow music.

When she looks down the aisle again, the two from before have been joined by several other male shoppers and one female shopper, all with plastic shopping baskets except for one guy who is holding too many things in his arms. All stare at her, entranced. A glass jar falls and breaks on the floor. A red hawk cries somewhere in the distance.

A decision made and with a sweeping arm, she knocks many boxes of Kellogg’s Special K Red Berries into her shopping cart and pushes it down the aisle, leaving a cereal box of the floor. As she turns the corner out of sight, the stockboy and shoppers all lunge for the box on the floor. A scuffle commences.

End tag with a grooving Kellogg’s Special K Red Berries cereal box, music and voiceover saying “Kellogg’s Special K Red Berries. It’s not just ok, it’s ohhh yeahhhhh.”

Possible options with a George Takei cameo and/or Barry White hologram.

What posts are called on the different social networks:

Facebook — Post

Instagram — Post

Twitter — Tweet

Mastodon — Toot

Bluesky — Skeet

Pinterest — Pin

Snapchat — Snap

Threads — Strand

Tumblr — Clink

LinkedIn — Outie

TikTok — Rangoon

Myspace — Tom

Reddit — Ditz

Where’s the milestone emoji?

How can social media effectively promote a company milestone?

Step 1: Have a company milestone. If one is not handy, fabricate or borrow one.

Step 2: Take a group photo with everybody holding a little plate with a piece of cake on it. Offer a gluten-free option.

Step 3: Have a human write a little something about what’s going on.

Step 4: More emojis, more better.

Step 5: Put it on social media. See? That wasn’t so hard.

A fine piece of Gossage.

— a 60s-era Fina petrol ad written by Howard Luck Gossage

“If you’re driving down the road and you see a Fina station and it’s on your side so you don’t have to make a U-turn through traffic and there aren’t six cars waiting and you need gas or something please stop in.”

All Business

A few days back, I was talking with a friend about the differences between a Bachelor of Arts and Bachelor of Science degree.

This took me a few years back to when I was finishing up my Bachelor of Science in Business Administration at Dickinson State University.

I remember the horror of finding out the big final test (Major Field Test, pretty much an exit exam) was going to cover the entire program, not just that current semester.

Eek.

When the time came to take it, I remember no notes were allowed and we were to take it under close supervision.

Eek.

Things get fuzzy.

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